AllFreeNovel
Share Us
God? Danny P. here, got a sec for me?That was how he’d started all his prayers when he was a little boy.I don’t know what to do. I married Heather because she got pregnant. I mean, I loved her—I still do. But are we in love with each other anymore? You know what’s going on with us. We’re not happy. And I know… I’m not perfect. I’ve screwed up plenty.
Danny shifted, moving his knees a little in a futile hope of comfort.He thought of Lucas, Matty, and Tommy, hundreds of miles away and out of reach.How could she take them away from me?He was about to make the usual excuse—that he hadn’t cheated on her—but he checked himself. He might not have been physically unfaithful until last night, but in his mind, he’d been down that road a thousand times.
The congregation stood and again, Danny was a few seconds behind everyone else.St. Jude, you’re the patron saint of lost causes. No matter what I do, someone gets hurt. Please help me figure this out.
Sunday dinner was halfway finished by the time he arrived. The empty chairs where his boys usually sat were a kick to the gut. He grunted a hello, and the conversation paused for a few seconds too long. Danny knew his mother had blabbed something about Heather to his siblings. But he didn’t address the elephant in the room. He filled his plate and started eating, stubbornly staying silent while the others talked.
Once the table was cleared, Danny grabbed Maggie and Joey and asked them to step outside for a second. He wanted to make sure they had his version of the story, not just his mother’s.
“What’s going on, Danny?” Maggie asked. “Ma said Heather was out of town with the boys. She said to ask you what was going on—”
Joey interrupted. “—No, she said to ask what you’ddone.Then she crossed herself about a dozen times, which means this isn’t some fun weekend away. Seriously, bro. What’s going on?”
There was no sense in trying to spin anything. “Heather left.”
His sister did a double take. “What do you mean she left?”
“She walked out, Maggie. I got this crazy call on Saturday with her saying she was tired of everything going on and wasn’t going to put up with it.”
“What stuff going on?” Joey asked.
“You haven’t been around for most of this,” Danny said to Joey. “Heather’s convinced I’ve been running around with Lauren.”
“Well, you’re not having an affair. Are you?” Never one to dissemble, Joey’s question was pointed.
“I wasn’t.” Danny’s answer was blunt and aggressive, inviting a confrontation.
“What do you mean by that?” Maggie’s voice went up a little, and her eyes got huge.
“Wasn’t?” Joey said at the same time.
“Heather walked out onme. I told her repeatedly that I wasn’t sleeping with Lauren, and it was the goddamn truth. But after she left, I thought that if I’d already been tried and convicted, then I may as well do the crime.” Danny folded his arms, stubborn and defensive.
“Shit—” was all Joey managed to say.
“—Danny! What are you thinking? You’remarried. How could Lauren—”
“—Don’t put this on her, Mags. This was my decision.Mine!I went to Lauren.” Danny’s voice was quiet, but there was iron in it.
He turned to go back to the house. He didn’t want to continue the conversation. In fact, he didn’t really want to be around his family at all.
Joey surprised him by asking, “Are you and Heather getting divorced?”
Danny stopped walking. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it outright, but I admit, I’ve wondered if we wouldn’t be better off taking a break and separating.” He felt the bluster and fight drain out of him. “I just thought we’d talk about it before it happened.”
Before they finished talking, Danny asked them both to give him a little space, and he asked Maggie if she’d tell Cole later. He wasn’t ready for whatever questions his niece would have. They went back inside to have dessert and listen to Cole regale them with stories about her visit with her father, including several about the very cute lifeguard at the lake near her father’s house.
But Danny stayed quiet, Deb was frosty, and an odd feeling of unease suffused the room.
Back at his own house, Danny grabbed Saturday’s mail on his way in and tossed it on the kitchen table. There were dishes in the sink from the day before, but he didn’t feel like dealing with those. Instead, he went upstairs for a shower. After washing his hair and scrubbing down, he stood under the spray, letting the water run over him.
Knowing he’d caused Heather so much anguish didn’t feel good. It had never been his intent to hurt her. But he’d been in pain, too, trapped in a no man’s land—and now perception and reality were the same. It gave him an odd sense of relief even though his marriage was foundering. He’d slept with another woman, a woman he’d loved for most of his life. It didn’t make the future any easier or any clearer, but somehow, he felt like he knew where he stood.
What he didn’t expect was how empty his house felt. With the three boys, there always seemed to be noise and activity, quiet only settling over the house when they were asleep. Now the silence was uncomfortable. Once he got out of the shower, he found himself looking at photos. That’s when the guilt started to gnaw at him, tearing meat off his bones. This wasn’t just affecting him and Heather, it was affecting his sons, and he knew they were confused, upset, and scared.
He pulled out his cell and called Heather’s number.
“What?” Her voice was abrupt and cold, and Danny bit his tongue.
