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An hour later, Lauren was back in her apartment, pacing and infuriated. She resisted the urge to call Danny. She wasn’t about to interfere with Cole’s birthday party—or his time with his boys—with her sibling drama.
Her cell phone buzzed, and she let it go to voice mail. It buzzed a second time. She ignored it again. By the fourth time, she realized whoever was calling wasn’t going to quit, and she looked down to see Carolyn’s picture on the screen. Lauren put the phone to her ear. She didn’t even say hello.
“I know you can hear me.”
“What do you want?”
“I’m downstairs. And I’ll keep calling until you let me up.”
“Fine.”
When Lauren answered the door, she knew she looked like hell based on the way Carolyn’s face softened with concern. She fiddled with the hem of the old Pearl Jam t-shirt she was wearing and invited her sister in.
“Looking good,” said Carolyn, eyeing the large rip in Lauren’s yoga pants.
“Not in the mood.”
Carolyn put her hands up, acknowledging she wasn’t there to pick a fight, and Lauren exhaled.
“C’mon, let’s sit outside,” Lauren said. She walked out onto the patio without waiting for her sister’s answer.
It was a beautiful evening and there was a nice breeze on the patio. The sounds of the city seemed very far away. Carolyn made herself comfortable in one of the chairs while Lauren rummaged through the bar fridge and pulled out a ginger ale for Carolyn. She cracked the can open, the soda fizz popping. Lauren poured herself a Coke and added a healthy shot of rum. She sat down in the soft chair next to her sister.
“Jackie was out of line,” Carolyn said.
“You think?” There was a bitter edge to Lauren’s comment. “Gotta admit though, never would have thought she’d have the balls to actually hit me.” Lauren swallowed half her drink in one gulp. “I mean, who the hell is she to judge me?”
“She thinks her shit doesn’t stink.” Carolyn’s statement was matter-of-fact truth and elicited the smallest chuckle from Lauren.
“She thinks it smells like roses, probably. She’s had her little perfect life. She got out of high school, went to college, met Chris there. And you know she had a fucking chastity belt on until their wedding night. No way she was putting out before she got that ring.”
“I’m surprised she put out enough to have that many kids,” Carolyn said.
Lauren tried not to smile but failed.
“But there’s something you need to remember about Jackie—”
“You’re defending her?”
“No. I’m trying to explain her.” Carolyn pulled both her feet up and tucked her legs under her. She reminded Lauren of a meat-loafed cat. “Remember, you’re everything she’s afraid of. She tries to control her life because if it’s impeccable on the surface, then everything’s okay. But you put it all out there. You take risks—big risks—and if you get banged up and bloody, you come back stronger. She doesn’t understand that, and it scares her to death.”
Lauren thought about that. It didn’t make her any less angry, but it did make sense. She swirled her glass, watching the liquid shift and slide.
Out of the blue, she asked, “Do you think I’m a slut?”
Carolyn choked on her soda. “What?”
“Do you think I’m a slut?” Lauren was almost afraid of the answer, afraid that Carolyn saw her the same way that Jackie did.
“No! Absolutely not. This situation with Danny is, well, it’s a little messed up. You’ve always cared about him—maybe too much. But I know you, and you’re not just doing this for some good sex—”
Relief washed through Lauren.
“—But you know, if you were having outrageous three-ways each night with hot young groupies? Then I might have to think you’re maybe a teeny bit slutty.”
“I can honestly tell you; I have never had a three-way with any hot young groupies.” Lauren laughed and felt the remaining knot of anger coiled in her chest loosen and drop away. “As for the rest of the band’s choices?” She offered a shrug and a smirk.
“No!Who?” Carolyn was beside herself. “Seriously? You can’t leave me hanging like that! Stevie? —no, he’s not the type. Is he? Ox’s too straight-and-narrow. Wait, was it DJ? I could see DJ—” She gasped. “Oh myGod!Augie?”
