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Danny rubbed his chin. “Smart. I meanreallysmart. But she didn’t always let people see it. Definitely independent. Didn’t mince words either. Lauren never had a problem letting the Sisters know when she disagreed with them, that’s for sure. Especially when they had something to say about the evils of rock music. I think she got sent to the principal’s office the first week.”
He chuckled at the memory of Lauren proudly exiting the classroom, leaving a flustered Sister in her wake.
“Obviously she excelled in music class,” Cole said. “You said she was smart—what was her best subject?”
“She was great in English. And she kicked my butt in chemistry.”
“Really? That’s cool. So, you noticed her right away, but when did you first go out?”
“First go out? Man…” Danny thought for a minute. “I wanted to ask her out that first day, but I was too chicken. Finally, I asked her to the Christmas dance that the school always has. What do they call it…?”
“The Christmas Cotillion?”
“That’s it. Anyway, after that, I asked her out again. Rest is history.” He offered a non-committal wave of his hand as if the rest of that history was no big deal.
“What was she like as a musician back then?” Cole adjusted the position of the recorder by a few inches, pushing it with the end of her pen.
“Driven,” Danny said without hesitation. “Lauren pushed herself hard, almost like she was afraid she was already behind. But you could tell she was something special when you heard her play or sing.”
“What’s your fondest memory of Lauren?”
Danny blew his breath out and thought for a long time. “I don’t think there’s just one, but I guess I’d have to say how beautiful she looked when I picked her up for prom.” He was a little uncomfortable with the raw honesty he heard in his own voice.
Cole grinned at him and raised an eyebrow. “So, after prom…”
“Next question.” He knew she wanted the rest of the story, but Cole didn’t need to know about the things that happened after his prom.
Their silent, fifteen-second game of chicken felt like an eternity. Cole gave in first.
“Okay, fine,” she said. “What did you guys fight about? I mean, no couple ever goes without fighting.”
Danny pushed the sleeves of his shirt up as a montage of arguments with his wife raced through his mind. His relationship with Lauren hadn’t been like that at all.
“Me and Lauren? We didn’t fight much. At least not until the end.” Danny’s voice dropped away, and he looked at a spot off in the distance. It took two tries for him to find his voice. “For a long time, the future felt so far away. Once we got to spring senior year, things started to change.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everything gets more concrete. You start to understand that there are a lot of people you might never see again. For me, suddenly, all the time Lauren talked about leaving for Los Angeles… I realized she wasn’t kidding.”
“Why didn’t you believe her before?”
“I did believe her. I mean, I knew she wanted to front a band. But… I don’t know. I guess I thought she’d try to put a band together here in New York. Or she’d change her mind about moving across the country, away from her family…”
Away from me. It wasn’t that Danny didn’t understand pursuing a dream, but Lauren leaving had gutted him. “I couldn’t understand why she wanted a life that, to me, felt so uprooted. It just felt like suddenly, we were on two different paths. That’s what we fought about.”
“That must have been hard.” Cole must have seen something in his face because she didn’t press him about what he said.
Danny nodded absently. “It was sobering for both of us to realize we were going separate ways. I got angry. I thought she loved her music more than me. Maybe she did. She probably thought I didn’t love her enough to go with her.” The sense that Lauren’s music meant more to her than he did still hurt.
“Did you? Not love her enough?”
He looked at Cole sharply, the question cutting close. “I think I was afraid of the uncertainty back then. The life she was chasing? No guarantees. I couldn’t wrap my head around living like that. Always on the go, no roots.” He gestured around the room. “No Sunday dinners. But she could. So, she packed her car and drove away.”
The memory he’d been holding at bay finally broke through. He’d gone to Lauren’s house that last day. All her worldly belongings were stuffed into her used Chevy S10 Blazer. Her family and a few of her friends had gathered on the sidewalk to see her off, along with her cousin Augie. For a minute, Danny lost himself in the memory…
Hanging back, silent, Danny watched as Lauren shared a tearful hug with her sisters and her parents and listened to her mother lecture her about being safe. He waited by the truck and was glad when everyone else melted away, giving them some privacy. She threw her backpack in the passenger seat, ignoring him for a moment.
“Lauren.”
