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A minute later his first response arrived: Quickly followed by
She didn’t blame Augie for nagging her. She’d lost too much weight over the summer and had to get into better shape. The album launch—and the supporting tour—weren’t that far away.
Ox and Stevie were lobbying hard for a minimalist tour. Good lights, plenty of video screens for fans in the nosebleed seats, but no fireworks or complicated set design. They wanted this show to be about the music itself, and Lauren was warming to that idea. Originally, she wanted to go bigger—much bigger—and use the tour to stick it to the critics who said The Kingmakers were through. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized Ox and Stevie were right. The music had to speak for them, not the spectacle. But minimalist or not, a tour was a tour, and she had to be ready for the grueling schedule.
A glance at the art deco clock on the wall told Lauren it was after ten. She tapped her foot restlessly. After two more bites of the pastry, Lauren felt stuffed and had to take a break. She dipped her napkin into her water glass to get the frosting off her fingers. The clock on the wall relentlessly ticked towards ten-thirty. She wasn’t going to sit around waiting any longer. Flagging the waitress down, she had the remnants of the cinnamon bun wrapped up in a to-go container.
Outside the shop, Lauren flipped up her jacket collar. The fall wind was brisk, and she shivered a little. A random piece of paper skipped along the sidewalk, and the same gust blew her hair into her face. As she turned the corner to head back to the Somerset, she heard his voice. Her heart turned over in her chest.
“Hey.”
“Started to think you weren’t coming.”
“I almost didn’t.”
Lauren didn’t bother asking why. She tipped her head towards the café and pulled up her jacket collar to block out the wind. “Want to go back?”
“No. But I’ll walk you to the hotel.”
As they fell into step together, it was all Lauren could do not to reach out to take Danny’s hand. She stuffed her own hands in her pockets. They talked a little, but it was a superficial, fluffy conversation. Deep down she knew ending their relationship was the right decision, but she couldn’t just turn her feelings off. And the exhilaration that seeing him brought was tempered by a healthy dose of self-reproach. What was she thinking, agreeing to meet him? If he was seriously trying to repair his marriage, this wasn’t going to help.
“Matty announced at dinner the other day that he wants to be a soldier like his uncle for Halloween,” Danny said.
“That’s sweet.”
They lapsed into silence after that. Lauren wanted to say something, anything, but she wasn’t sure exactly what she was supposed to say. The uncertainty hurt.
Soon, they reached the hotel, and Danny walked her into the lobby. Near her elevators, Lauren stopped. She didn’t want to say good night. She wanted to stay up half the night telling Danny about how well things were going in the studio. She wanted to share previews of the songs. And she wanted to tell him how much she missed him.
What she didnotwant to tell him was how much pain she was in and how she had walked right up to the edge of relapsing. She knew they weren’t going to end up together… because as much as she wanted Danny, he wasn’t who she really needed. That had become clear to her in the aftermath of their affair. But before she could articulate any of what she wanted to say, an abrupt movement caught her eye. Across the lobby, a tall, lanky man leaped to his feet. He wore a green canvas vest and had a stocking cap stuck to the top of his head.
For a split-second, Lauren’s heart froze—he was dressed like one of the local paparazzi she’d become familiar with—but then the stranger waved to another man, and they clapped each other on the back as if they were old friends.
“Lauren?”
“Sorry, I thought I saw someone I knew. What did you say?”
“I asked if I could come up for a minute.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She waffled. It was a terrible idea. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the green canvas vest again. But talking here, where so many eyes could see them, wasn’t going to work.
Lauren thought about what Cole said, about how love can make you do stupid things. She sighed and added one more to her own personal dumb decision list. “Okay, come on up. At least we’ll have some privacy. The last thing you need right now is a photo of us showing up in the paper.” A dash of bitterness flavored her words.
In the confines of the elevator, they stood on opposite sides, but the tension between them increased with each passing floor. Lauren studied Danny’s reflection in the shiny interior panels. He looked defeated, an expression she’d never seen on him before. The doors slid open, and the silence from the elevator escorted them to her door, thick and oppressive.
“You said you wanted to talk to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Danny said. “About hurting you. About everything.”
“I know. We made a mess of things.” She opened the door and invited him in with a sweep of her hand.
“I’ve been worried about you. Are you okay? For real?”
Well, that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?she thought. “Not really. I almost torpedoed our new album—and the band nearly imploded. I’ve been consumed by what ifs. Thinking about you and if—somehow—things could have been different. I almost—” She bit her tongue to stop herself from blurting out that she’d almost started using again.
“You almost what?”
