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“Sehzade Sultan Kadou Mahisti Hazretleri Effendi, Prince of Arast, Duke of Harbors and Altinbasi-ili, Lord of Sirya and Nadirintepe, and Warden of the Northern Marches, here do I swear myself to service as your kahya. I offer the strength of my arm, the work of my hands, the breadth of my knowledge, the wisdom of my counsel, and above all, the loyalty of my heart. I place my trust in you,” he said pointedly, “that you will in return provide me with all that I require for my hands and arms to execute my duties;that my knowledge and counsel when offered will be heard; that you will not misuse me for ill purpose which would be a betrayal of my loyalty; and that for as long as I am in service, I will have a place in your home and a place at your hearth.” Kadou’s hands had clutched his. “Thus swear I, Evemer Hoskadem, as a kahya of House Mahisti.”
He raised his head but did not release Kadou’s hands. Kadou looked down at him, stunned.
But he wasn’t finished. “Kadou Mahisti,” he began anew. This wasn’t ritual. “These too, I swear: That I shall not allow harm to come to you, even by your own actions or by your own will, nor shall I allow you to make foolish, ill-advised, or irresponsible decisions. You have a great well of power to draw upon should you wish it, but I have strength enough to match you. Use as much of your power as you like—you will not move me from your side.”
Kadou didn’t look away from him. His eyes were bright, his expression conflicted, but he pulled one hand free and touched Evemer’s cheek. “And for that, what do you swear as?”
“Thus swear I, Evemer Hoskadem,” he answered. His cheek tingled. He wanted to turn his face into the warm cradle of Kadou’s palm. “As a person who holds your life above all others. As one who cares for you and loves you.” And here was the part that felt most presumptive: “As your friend.”
Kadou nearly spoke, sighed. “Evemer, I—”
“Would you reject my oaths, my lord?”
A flash of a smile quirked the corner of Kadou’s mouth. “You’re cheating.”
A huffing breath of laughter escaped Evemer, startling both of them. Kadou looked down at him with something like wonder. “I’m not cheating,” Evemer said, allowing himself to smile—he so rarely smiled, but it made the wondering look on Kadou’s face sharpen, made his eyes widen. “I’m only playing dirty.”
Kadou’s fingers were still brushing his cheek. “I accept your oaths,” he said at last. “As my kahya and as my friend.” There should have been more. There should have been a recitation of oaths and acknowledgment of the obligations Evemer had already laid out. Part of him felt it was miserly of Kadou, but . . . It was enough. There were two operative, essential words that Kadou had said:accept;my.
In other words:Yes, you’re mine.
Kadou had already said as much to Zeliha—Evemer could have been content with only that, if he’d had to. He could have held those words in his heart like a talisman against despair. What else needed to be said? Wanting to hear anything more was only vanity, wasn’t it?
Kadou spoke again: “But you need to listen to me—I can’t stay here and wait.”
Damn it all, where was Kadou’s so-called cowardice when it would have been convenient? “I’ll go get the chair. Do you prefer to be tied with ropes, belts, or sashes?”
“Evemer.”
“You have duties to me as well,” he said. “To Melek and Tadek and Eozena. To Her Majesty.”
Kadou’s hand left his cheek and gripped him by the chin, just as Zeliha had. This time, it made his skin prickle. “Lieutenant Hoskadem, you have given me your counsel and I have listened. Will you do me the same courtesy?” Without waiting for a response—and Evemer could not have moved anyway, would not have moved away from Kadou’s grip for all the counterfeit gold in Arast safely confiscated and minted new and pure again—Kadou continued: “I would have you at my side. I would try to make this as risk-conservative as possible. I can’t convince you it will be safe, because it won’t be. But there are things that matter more than safety. I’ve been given a job to do.”
This was exactly the gambit that Evemer had tried to head off at the pass. He would have looked away from Kadou’s dark, arresting gaze if he’d been able to. Perhaps it would have helped. Perhaps it would keep him from being mesmerized into budging an inch—because Kadou only needed an inch, and then he’d flow around Evemer like water around a stone in the path. But that was haggling for you. He’d known that he wasn’t going to win with his first offer. He’d budge. He’d have to, Her Majestyhadissued an order he did not wish to disobey outright—but perhaps he could manage only half an inch, and direct Kadou on a better course.
Kadou’s grip tightened on him.
Evemer wrapped one hand around his wrist, feeling easily the fine slender bones beneath the skin. “If we foresee a physical altercation, either you stay out of it or we all retreat and come at it from a better angle,” Evemer said. “If I tell you to run, you run. No heroics. No stopping to save our lives.”
“I won’t agree to leave you behind.”
“You will agree that out of all of us, your life matters most.”
Kadou’s hand loosened and fell away from his chin. Evemer tried not to be disappointed. “That’s an ugly way of looking at it.”
“It is necessary.” At Kadou’s thunderous, frustrated expression, he couldn’t help but ask, “Are you angry with me?”
Kadou took his other hand from Evemer’s and folded them on his lap. “Do you ever have a moment where you’re feeling seven things at once and you can’t decide which of them is most important?”
Evemer sat back on his heels and gave this a moment of consideration. “Perhaps two or three at once. I don’t think I’ve made it up to seven.”
“I’m angry at the idea that we are sitting here ranking lives in order of importance. I’m angry that we have to play along with pretending that’s a real thing—other than Zeliha’s and Eyne’s.” Nice bit of hypocrisy there, but Evemer wasn’t going to call him on it. “I’m irritated with Zeliha for giving you the tools to hold me back. I’m scared that we’ll be unable to act quickly enough to avert disaster. I’m . . . impressed with you for standing your ground.” He lowered his eyes and smiled faintly. “I haven’t had many people say no to me before.”
“I imagine it’s frustrating now.”
“Frustrating and . . . comforting.” Kadou’s voice dropped even lower, so he was barely breathing the words. “I like knowing that you’ll be able to stop me when it really matters. It’s . . . something of a relief to find that there are limits that you won’t let me cross.” Kadou tapped his fingers on his knees. “The presence of a stone wall makes the open parts of the field that it surrounds more meaningful.”
“My lord,” he said, for lack of anything else to say.
