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“Well, it wasn’t exactly me.” I shift in my seat. “Like I said, it’s something our families want.”
“Right, right. Well, good luck with that. I wasn’t able to put up with his carelessness and alcoholism, but maybe he’s changed?” By the tone of her voice, she doesn’t exactly sound convinced. “He might not have been able to be the man I needed him to be, but maybe he will be for you.”
Or not.
I force a smile, standing. “Thanks for your time. I know it might be a little weird.”
“Oh, not at all. Us girls have to stick together, right?” She flashes me a smile.
“Thank you again,” I say politely, already heading back towards my friends. She gives me a small wave of her fingers as I step past the rope and back into the crowd. I can feel her eyes on the back of my neck as I weave between sweaty bodies, the music threading through my veins.
“So,” Kimmy loops an arm through mine, “did you get the answers you needed?” Sadie sidles closer, straining to hear over the music.
“Maybe.” I glance back over my shoulder, but Blair is already gone.
She seemed a little guilty about cheating on Killian. She might have even regretted it. But could I blame her for trying to find a real relationship when it sounds like Killian basically strung her along with empty promises? At least she had the chance to find something better.
But me? I’m stuck.
16
KILLIAN
I’ve been pacing all morning, waiting to hear back from Dante. I haven’t heard anything about what happened last night or if his team’s raid had been successful. For the hundredth time this morning, I curse Dante for keeping me in the dark. I was ready to prove myself again. Ready to take on more of the action just when it starts getting good. It doesn’t matter if it’s grunt work—the Russians had threatened my family. And I would do anything to get back at them. To destroy them just as they’d destroyed my clubs.
The sun had already sunk behind the high-rises of Manhattan, bathing the city in a fresh glow of blood-red through my windows. I’d been stuck in my apartment all morning, just waiting for night to fall. The alcohol last night had helped, but I’m still too wired to have any peace.
Snarling, I turn away from the window and snatch up my phone, texting Niccolo to get the driver. I can’t stay here a minute longer. Cain had texted me the new location of The Salamander last night, but I’d been too far gone to even get up off the couch by that point. Tonight I was sober.
And I didn’t want to be.
A part of me felt guilty for giving in so easily after months of fighting back, but another larger part of me just couldn’t give a shit…not tonight. Our businesses were under attack again, a year after the Snake had nearly decimated us. I was engaged to a stuck-up bitch whose family, just last year, had been our enemy, and I couldn’t even call off the engagement without disappointing my family.
I press the elevator button, heading down to the parking garage where the driver and Niccolo are waiting. No matter how hard I try to make a better life for myself, there’s always some shit getting in the way. It didn’t matter how hard I worked, how much I gave up, how much I’d improved—something always happens to bring me back down again. So I might as well just enjoy the few nights of freedom I had left before it all went to hell.
“Sir?” Niccolo holds the door open for me, a questioning look on his face.
“We’re headed to The Salamander,” I tell him, sliding in.
He hesitates before rounding to the passenger seat and sliding in. I can practically feel his disapproval in the air. Niccolo turns, his mouth opening before shutting again.
“Just spit it out,” I snap. “Stop looking like a damn fish out of water.”
“I just—Is this a good idea?” He stiffens, waiting for my reaction.
“Is this any of your goddamn business?” I growl. He shakes his head slightly, though he still looks like he wants to argue about it. “Then turn around and just get me there.”
Niccolo motions for the driver to go, the engine roaring to life. I know I probably shouldn’t have snapped at him. Niccolo’s been right by my side for the past year, watching me struggle to leave Old Killian behind and start fresh. But tonight, I don’t need that reminder. I don’t need him to babysit me. I just need him to shut up and do his job.
I push aside the nagging feeling of guilt the whole drive over to Jersey. I’d cut back on alcohol to prove to Sienna and Dante I was taking my promotion seriously. But that didn’t mean I had to be completely sober when technically off-duty. Besides, one drink wouldn’t hurt. It definitely didn't hurt last night.
I welcome the music as soon as I step through the front door, bathing in the shadows and the pungent smell of alcohol in the air. The tension eases from my shoulders as I scan the room for any sign of the brothers. They don’t seem to be here for once, but that doesn’t matter. Every worker here knows who I am. I step towards the closest VIP section, where two guards stand on either side of the rope. They blink at me in surprise.
“Sir, we didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” one says hurriedly. “The brother’s usual place is available if you’d like to use that tonight.” Usually, the brothers would be on the second floor, but since this location was one level, they’d sectioned off a larger area at the center near the back wall, more private yet still visible.
I grin. “Great. Why don’t you bring me a bottle of whiskey while you’re at it. Top shelf.” I brush past them, heading straight for the center of the sectioned-off area. The couches and chairs surrounding the space were already full of other important, obnoxiously rich guests. I ignore them all, flopping down on the center couch, staring out over the dance floor with a bored expression on my face.
It’s so easy to slip back into who I used to be—the man with no responsibilities. Where the only issue I had was not having daddy’s love…or respect. I sneer at the thought. If only my father could see me now.
