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“Keep talking, please. I wanna hear it,” he said quietly. “I know I cried all over you and Darius when we saw you in Florida after…you know. But we never really got a chance to talk about what you went through.”
Thirty minutes before the wedding probably wasn’t a good time to remedy that, but he was right. Gray had shared some bits and pieces, of course. Some parts had leaked out in the media. Abel had read a few interviews with survivors too.
It wasn’t as if he and Abel had tried to jump back to the way things had once been, and yet, they’d attempted to navigate new waters without looking back on the very trauma that’d set Gray on the course that’d brought him here today.
“I don’t mind telling you all the details you don’t already know,” he said, “but maybe not right now.” He smiled a little. “Either way, I think that’s why I’m so anxious. Because I had to live through something that… I mean, I just knew back then that I wasn’t gonna be able to walk away from it. I remember—” Fuck. He shouldn’t allow himself to think further on those dark days, not on the day he was getting married. “I remember saying goodbye to you. To Mom, my brothers, all of you. Right before the auction. I really said goodbye and checked out.”
Abel’s eyes welled up, and he left his side of the table to sit next to Gray instead.
“It was a goodbye in a way.” Abel lifted their hands and kissed Gray’s knuckles. “The guy I grew up with never came back.”
No. He’d died at sea. Or in a van somewhere.
“But you know?” Abel lifted Gray’s chin. “Someone else took his place—someone who’s so fucking strong and just… I don’t know. You leveled up, man.”
Gray chuckled thickly and wiped at his cheek.
“Sometimes, I mourn the best friend I lost,” Abel confessed. “I know that’s selfish, but everything was just so much easier before. I never had to see torment in your eyes—aside from the Craig bullshit. All the normal crap we agonize over. All the nights we talked and used each other as freaking diaries. I mean, how many people can claim they have a best friend they can literally say anything to?”
Not enough people, anyway.
“And…” Abel trailed off and scratched his forehead. He squinted too. “Okay, screw it. I was gonna say this in my speech later, but I wanna tell you the unfiltered version.”
Gray looked to him, curious and already feeling better. Abel had always had that effect on him.
“So, since you got back,” he started, “you’ve told me more than once that you’re a new person. And I get it. You changed irrevocably after what you had to go through. But whenever I miss the simpler times and how easy things were when we were kids, all I gotta do is visit. Because the best friend I raised hell with is still there. Not just buried in you but…in what you’re building with Darius. Those are your dreams, like from way before.”
Gray took an easier breath and rested his forehead to Abel’s shoulder.
“The fun-loving, innocent buddy with the shit-eating grin I went to school with had all his dreams come true,” Abel murmured. “And that’s who I see whenever Mad and I come up for dinner. I see you chasing your kids around, and the shit-eating grin is back. You carry a lot more these days—I understand that your past will always be heavy—but at the same time, I’ve never seen you so happy. And I think the Gray you used to be is hidden somewhere underneath all this Daddy business, and he’s just rolling around like a pig in shit, because he has three kids, he’s about to marry the love of his life, and he’s still blessed to have me as his best friend.”
A highly unsexy, croaked laugh escaped, and Gray threw his arms around Abel.
“And he will always have me,” he finished. “I may miss the guy you once were from time to time, but I would never trade him for the man you’ve become.”
Gray sniffled and tightened his hold on Abel. “I love you. You don’t even know how much.”
“Oh my God, don’t be gross.”
Gray chuckled and smacked a wet smooch to Abel’s cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for making me feel better. I think you’re right—and savor that, since it rarely happens.”
Abel laughed and punched Gray in the arm.
“Ouch. Still so fucking violent.” Gray rubbed the spot. “Don’t teach my kids that. Justin’s especially fond of his Uncle Abel, and I don’t need him throwing punches.”
Abel merely smirked and changed the topic. “You ready to get married?”
Gray nodded and let out a breath. “Are you gonna wing it when it’s your turn to give a speech?”
