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“Go away, Ben!” she shouts through the door. At least I confirmed she’s in there.
But why thefuckdoes she have to fight me oneverything? Is it a game? Is she testing me? Or does she genuinely not want me to bother her?
“Let me in, Lola. We need to fucking talk.”
“I just want to relax, Ben. You don’t have to take care of me. I’m a big girl.” She’s closer now, no longer a muffled voice.
“Lola, you open this door or I’m breaking it down.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare. Go to your place, Ben. I don’t need you over here. You don’t need to burden yourself with my drama, I swear. I’m fine.”There it is. I knew there was something, something bigger that she wasn’t saying.
She thinks I’m doing this out of a sense of duty.
She thinks she’s a burden, an inconvenience.
God, has anyone ever taken care of this woman? Has sheletanyone take care of her?
Even more, has anyone fought to be the one to take care of her?
The thought tears at me, thinking no one has ever bothered.
“The fuck you are, Lola. You had a shit dream last night, woke up screaming. Had to hold you to calm you down.”
“I’m fine now,” she says, her voice softer. Embarrassed.
Fuck. My own voice goes softer in turn, leaning on the door.
“Lola. Let me in. One way or another, I’m coming in there. You either let me in or I’m breaking in.”
“Do it. You won’t.”
And with that, I smile.
She might be the older sister who raised her baby sister.
But I was the older brother who tormented my younger brother.
“Oh, sweet girl. Don’t make bets that you’ll lose,” I say, and if I could see myself, I’d see a devious smile on my lips.
She has no idea what beast she poked.
I back up and slam my shoulder into the door, the cheap, old locks already beginning to give way.
She needs a new one anyway. The front door is fixed, but this door is next. Something tells me she won’t let me replace it unless it's completely necessary.
I’ll just make it necessary.
“Ben! What are you doing!?”
“I’m coming into your fuckin’ apartment. You open this door or I break it down, baby, but one way or another, I’m coming in.”
“You’re not going to break the door!”
“That’s my plan. I’ll replace it. Now move out of the way.”
With the shit going down, I want this door secure. She needs a new door and better locks.
I need her safe.
