AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Mom. She had journals.” This is news to me. “They were marked in a box for me. There was a note on top. She wrote it. I know everything.” She turns to me again, watery eyes shining. “I swear, Lola. I swear I didn’t know you were involved. I didn’t know . . . I had no idea . . . you . . . I swear it. I would have . . . stopped it. Something.” Her eyes are genuine, watery. “I found them two years ago.”
I have so many questions.
What did the journals say?
How much does she know?
What has she done with that information?
But before she can even try to say more, a head pops in.
Vic.
“Hey, am I interrupting?” Thick dark brows come together and I can’t decide if it’s genuine confusion or if he knows and is interrupting on purpose.
“No. They were just leaving,” Ben says, looking pointedly at my dad. To my surprise, my dad, suddenly looking older and smaller than I’ve ever seen him, nods.
Lilah comes over to me, hugging me and whispering in my ear. “We need to talk.” I nod against her soft hair. “I love you, sis,” she says, and I kiss her cheek, repeating the phrase. She pulls back, looking me in the eyes. “This changes nothing, Lola. Between us. You’re still my big sister, and I still love you. I have a lot to make up for.”
“Lilah, no—”
But my sister is already straightening, standing, and brushing her hands down her perfectly pressed dress.
Then they’re gone.
“So a few stitches and we’ll wrap up your hand, and then you’ll be all good to leave. Just need to have Nurse Pam help you out of the building in a chair. It's procedure.” His face turns to Ben. “You’re taking her home?” Ben nods. “Good. I’ll call in a day or two, then Gabs and I will stop by. I can’t keep her out. Gabi’s mind is already going a mile a minute, wanting to meet your new girl.”
“Oh, I’m not—”
“Let’s worry about getting you home, sweet girl,” Ben says, and something about that sounds so fucking nice, I want to wrap myself up in it forever.
Forty-Five
-Lola-
Once I’m checked out,Ben helps me into the car, waving off Nurse Pam who was a mother hen through my entire stay (Vic says this is very on-brand for Pam, who loves to baby patients and bicker with the doctors), and we start driving toward the boardwalk.
The drive is silent.
I’m ruminating on the crumbling of my family’s secrets and mysteries in a hospital room. I still can’t decide if it feels good or if it makes me sick to my stomach, knowing that twenty-five years worth of keeping secrets has come to an end.
And even more, knowing that Lilah’s life will change forever. I still don’t quite know if she knows all of the true secrets, but either way, it’s done.
Ben is probably in his grumpy AF Ben head, pondering what his next steps in his quest to keep me safe will be. But thinking about Ben and how this is all done—for real this time— has me contemplating this.
Because the truth of the matter is, although I’ve been falling for Ben, we’re still always at each other's throats. I can’t go ten minutes without making him pissed at me, and every moment seems to be an opportunity for us to argue.
Nothing about us is compatible. The pink, sugar and spice, Taylor Swift-singing baker and the pissy, broody, beautifully creative tattoo artist.
We don’t work.
We’ve worked so far as a point of necessity. Ben felt an obligation to keep me safe, to take care of me. He’s that guy, after all. I think, in a way, he’s also poured some of the unnecessary guilt he feels for forcing Tanner to pick up the slack he left into me.
I think about this, what the future will look like, for the long minutes on the drive back. I don’t even notice we’ve parked out behind our apartments until Ben is standing outside the passenger side door, opening it. I jump in my seat, panic flooding me.
“Hey, hey. It’s me. It’s just me, sweet girl,” he says, his voice running through me to soothe the panic, the ache. I look him over, taking each bit into my mind and savoring each detail.
This man.
