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“Grandma means well, but she’s not Mommy, not Daddy. I’m telling you right now, Lala. Your job will never be to take care of your sister. You’ll help us because we’re a family. You’ll keep an eye out for her because she’s your sister. You’ll do things for her because you love her, but you will always be Kayla. James still does basketball, right? He’s not too busy taking care of you?”
“Yeah, but—”
“No but, baby. Mommy and Daddy will do everything in our power so all of you—all three of you—can do what makes you happy. Sometimes it won’t be when you want or exactly how you want. That’s life. But your sister will not be your responsibility. Ever.” Kayla scrunches her nose, but I can see that the concern I think she’s been harboring for weeks has been eased.
“I don’t want to change diapers,” Kayla says, and Ben laughs, turning back to his art.
“Yeah, me neither, but your mom makes me do it. It was our deal. I put the baby in her belly and I have to change the diapers.” I laugh then, and Ben looks over his shoulder and smiles.
“Hey, Daddy?” my nosy girl asks.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Howdidyou put the baby in Mommy’s belly?” Ben looks back at me again with wide eyes, and I raise my hands in the air, backing up and laughing.
He can handle that one on his own.
I never did like making life easy for him.
Delilah
My heels clickon poured cement floors.
They’re red.
A power color.
In the past, I’ve worn these to banquets. To meetings to secure fundraising money.
On dates with rich attorneys and richer tech CEOs.
There, the power is in sex. The promise of maybe, but also, the knowledge of probably never. The forbidden fruit. Shane Turner’s youngest daughter.
The youngest daughter with a secret my mother nearly took to her grave.
Today, the power needs to stand for something else.
It needs to stand for a woman doing what it takes to take control of her life. To finally pay her dues.
And when I stand in front of Paulie Carluccio in a tight black dress, blonde hair cascading down my tan back, an Italian princess in the making, I decide that red is my color.
Power is my color.
And I’m here to make a deal.
