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I shrugged. “Okay, fair enough. But you had someone you loved, and she died, so it feels like you should catch a lucky break. How about letting yourself just enjoy this?”
He chuckled. “Old habits die hard and all that.”
“I get it.”
His gaze sobered. “I suppose you do. Both of your parents died when you were pretty young.”
I took a swallow of my beer, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. Our dad wasn't exactly around much. I miss him, but he was pretty inconsistent. My mom, though. That was a hit.” I lightly thumped my fist over my heart.
“How old were you when it happened?”
“I was in college. We knew she had some heart issues, but we didn’t know the extent. She collapsed, and they couldn't restart her heart.” I swallowed, my throat feeling tight for a minute.
Grief sometimes felt like little arrows randomly striking and stinging deeply. “She was everything for all of us.”
“It hurts to lose someone like that.”
“It does. I still miss her.”
“Flynn was with us. I remember he got that call, and then he was making arrangements to go home.”
“I was up in Anchorage. I drove home that night, of course, as soon as I heard. Nora was sixteen, and Cat wasn’t even a teenager yet. They were trying to figure out if there should be a temporary guardianship since I was only in college. Thank God, they got Flynn on the phone. He promised he was making arrangements to get home. Without Flynn, I don't know what we would have done. There's no way I could have pulled off what he did with the family business. My mom had done her best, but it was slow going. It was nothing like what we have now, in large part thanks to all of you coming out to fly.”
Tucker held my gaze, nodding slowly. “Well, we all love to fly. Flynn would have made it work without us, though.”
“Maybe. But I like it this way. It feels like we're all a family.”
“Damn straight, we are,” he said firmly.
The server arrived to take our food order. After we ordered, Layla stopped by, slipping into the booth beside me.
“Hey.” She nudged me playfully with her shoulder.
I grinned down at her. She smiled over at Tucker, asking politely about Skylar and so on. She made herself comfortable.
A while later, Tucker departed with a wink and a smile, clapping me on the shoulder. “See you tomorrow. If I don't see you at work, I'll be out at the lodge for yoga.”
“All right. Have a good one,” I replied.
Then it was Layla and me. “How have you been? I haven't seen you out much,” she commented.
“Just been busy.”
I decided then and there I needed to distract myself from Harley and that sizzling electric encounter the other night. I slid my arm around Layla’s shoulders. “Where are you headed?”
“Home,” she answered, her blue eyes blinking when she smiled up at me.
All of this should have gotten my engine revving. Instead, I just wasn't feeling it. I told myself we would go out to the parking lot and I would kiss her to get me started.
Wrong. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss her.
“Something wrong, Grant?” she asked when we were standing by her car.
“Nah. Good to see you.”
She leaned up, pressing a kiss on my cheek and catching my hand to reel me closer. I shook my head. “Not tonight.”
I drove home with Harley on my mind.
