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At two in the morning, Maddox couldn’t hold back his yawn. “Fuck, sorry. I am not bored by our conversation. I had to be up at five yesterday, and I have an early start tomorrow.”
“They’re working you to the bone.”
“You have no idea. It’s been exhausting.”
“But professionally satisfying?”
“Definitely. They’re always willing to take it to the next level, and I’m always eager to do the same.”
“Well, maybe we should head out. It’s already two. We don’t have to close the bar down.”
“But you’re leaving tomorrow,” he pointed out. I nodded. “Then, we should stay.”
I laughed. “You’re going to be cursing me in the morning.”
His eyes tracked over my face for a second and then hastily away. As if to say that wasn’t what he wanted to be doing to me in the morning.
My face flushed, and I set my third empty drink on the table. I didn’t need a fourth or else we’d end up in my hotel room downstairs. I was sure there was a reason that relationships hadn’t come up, and I didn’t want to do anything to hurt him.
He yawned wide again. “Sorry. Sorry.”
“Come on,” I said, rising to my feet. “We should get you back to your hotel. You’re going to pass out on me.”
“All right,” he said with another yawn. He stood and closed out the tab, dropping some cash on the table. “Let’s go.”
We took the elevator to the lobby.
“Where are you staying?”
“Here,” I told him.
“Oh. Well, fuck. I’ll take the Subway back by myself.”
“Okay.”
He reached out for me, taking my hand in his. Such a familiar feeling. All the years apart falling away. “Unless … you want to come with me.”
Our eyes met, and I saw the real question there. If I went with him, I’d stay the night. We’d definitely hook up. And I did want that, but it would be a mistake.
“You and I both know what will happen if I come to your hotel with you.”
He circled my empty ring finger. “You’re divorced …”
“I am. And you? We haven’t talked about it all night. I assumed for a reason.”
He winced. “I mean … we’re on a break.”
I pulled back gently. “A break isn’t broken up. I taught you that.”
“Fuck.” He stepped away from me and ran his hands back through his hair. “Why can’t I get enough of you, Josie? Why does it feel like torture every time we do this?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I wish I knew.”
His hands went into my hair, and he pulled my face to his, pressing a firm kiss to my lips. We both could give in then, sink into that kiss and forget the rest of the world. My head was spinning from the taste of his lips. It would be so easy to drag him upstairs. We’d regret it in the morning, but it would be worth it for one more night.
But I withdrew. Because whoever the girl was that he was on a break with didn’t deserve this. Even if I loved him—and I would always love him—I wanted more than this, and we couldn’t have it.
“Good night, Maddox.”
He sighed and dropped his forehead to mine. “Good night, Josie.”
Then, he released me in a rush and hurried out of the lobby of the hotel. I watched his retreating back until it was out of sight. My night of celebration bringing with it another broken heart.
26
SCAD
OCTOBER 28, 2016
“Holy shit, look at you!” Marley gasped.
I flung my arms around my best friend, heedless of everyone’s eyes on me. We were at the SCAD Film Festival, attending a cocktail party dedicated to the honored graduates of the university. It was at this very festival where I’d failed horribly as a director and gotten my big break, all in the same night. I also couldn’t think of the festival without thinking about Maddox, who Marley had come with to the party.
Because of course we were being honored in the same year. Of course we were.
“I missed you so much,” I told Marley.
“I missed you too.” She pulled back and assessed me. “I love this dress on you.”
“Thank you. Amelia designed it.”
Marley nodded, her jaw set. “She’s really talented.”
It was as close as I would get to bringing up Derek in front of her. Not that she was rushing to drag Maddox over to see me. He was across the room, against a wall, avoiding talking to as many people as possible. I’d seen him as soon as he and Mars entered. She’d hurried away to greet him. A pinball between the two of us.
A throat cleared next to me. The real reason Mars was pinballing. “Are you going to introduce me, darling?”
I withdrew from Marley and gestured to Craig Van der Berg. “Marley, this is my fiancé, Craig. Craig, this is Marley. She’s going to be a bridesmaid.”
