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After what felt like an eternity, we’re finally pulling into a private hangar.
“Adèle, can you help get Marina situated? I’m going to speak to the pilot.” He leaves without another word, not even waiting for Addy’s response.
“Damn fool,” she mutters. “Have you two not talked?”
I groan. “There wasn’t time.”
“Nonsense. I saw father wandering the manor shortly after I left you.”
“You did?” I don’t know if my interest is piqued more by the fact that Julian is avoiding me or that Count Dupré was roaming.
“Yes, well, he was all turned around. I think the meetings yesterday were a bit much for him. He seemed flustered.”
Interesting. I make a mental note to keep an eye on Dupré. Knowing he has a key that belongs to a secret box leaves a lot of questions. I don’t like that he’s back at the estate without supervision. Maybe that’s why I had the sudden urge to hide the box?
“He needs rest. He’s on his way back to France to start enacting whatever decisions he and Julian came to.”
The tension leaves my body in a rush. I’m grateful that we’re in a dark car where she can’t see the relief I feel from that bit of information. Knowing he’s not left unchecked at the manor has me relaxing. My reaction could be for nothing. Maybe the key is just that... a key. He certainly has his own manor in France. It could be to a number of things.
It’sthekey.
Julian pops his head back into the car. “It’s time. We need to board.”
I attempt to break into his thoughts, but it’s just static. Has he found a way to shut me out even with our bond?
I move toward the door, preparing to follow, when Adèle’s hand reaches out, stopping me. “Talk to him, Marina.” Her words are stern, scolding. “Don’t go into this situation at odds. You’ll need each other.”
I sit back into my seat with a sigh. “What do you expect me to do? Tie him down and force him to talk to me? He’s the one avoiding me, Addy. I didn’t do anything.”
“He’s avoiding you because he knows he scared you.”
“And you know this how?” I bark a little too aggressively.
She sighs. “I’ve known him for a very long time, Marina. This is how he gets when he’s in a bad place. He shuts down and folds into himself. He needs you to pull him out of it.”
I nod, making my way out of the car. My feet carry me up the stairs of the plane and to the first open seat I find. Adèle walks past and goes to the farthest seat, putting a mask over her eyes, signaling she’ll be resting this trip.
I envy her, because as exhausted as I am, sleep won’t come. I’m too nervous about seeing Shannon. I’m too anxious to speak to Julian. All in all, I’m a hot mess of nerves.
I’m studying my hands when Julian takes the seat next to me. My head pops up as I’m startled by his presence. I thought he’d continue to ignore me the entire ride to Seattle.
“Hi.” I barely whisper the word.
“Hi.” Julian smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He doesn’t seem angry, just tired and sad. I hate that this is what’s become of us.
We both speak each other’s names at the same time.
“Go ahead,” I prompt.
He inhales and exhales. “Where do I start?” he says, lowering his head. “I’m so ashamed, Marina. I never wanted to lose control like that with you.”
“I know that, Julian. That isn’t who you are.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “That’s the thing. Itisme,” he stresses. “That is the Julian that I try not to show you. It’s the part of me that I have to work so hard to repress in your presence. Because I don’t want to scare you.” He turns in his seat so we’re looking at each other. “I’ve never been human, Marina. I was born this way. With all of the harsh characteristics that come with being a vampire. The things that I’ve seen... the things that I’ve done...” His voice breaks and I place my hand on top of his, trying to show comfort. “Well, as you can see, I’m failing miserably.”
“Julian, I-I don’t know what to say. Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling?”
“Things have been different since you entered my world. You think you’re weak.” He lets out a humorless laugh. “You’re not the only one. I can’t start showing weakness now. Not with the Council watching my every move.”
