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He rolls off, lying beside me on the ground, looking up at the stars overhead.
I refuse to think about who could be looking down to see this. I’m going to enjoy what little time I have left here with Luke, because it’ll be the last time I see him. I know this can’t happen again, no matter how badly I wish otherwise. I don’t want to leave, and that’s a very big problem.
His fingers graze mine, and I can’t help but interlace mine with his. We lie there in the dark quiet of the night for what feels like hours. Words aren’t necessary, as his touch tells me everything I need to know about the man beside me. He’s gentle, capable of love, and he would be all mine if only it were possible.
As if sensing the direction of my wayward thoughts, he speaks, “I can’t hide how I feel, Victoria. I want to know you better.”
I huff. “That’s impossible, Luke. It’s forbidden for a reason.”
He sits up, turning toward me. “What if I were to need your assistance again?”
I eye him skeptically. “Playing with fire.”
Those piercing green eyes seem to dance. “For you, I’d walk right through it,” he declares, leaning over me and placing a kiss on my temple. “Tell me I can see you again.”
The answer is simple. No is the only word that should slip from my lips. We can’t do this; it’ll only bring trouble to both of us. If for no other reason, I need to protect him. But that’s not what comes out.
“I-I’ll try,” I lie, knowing it’s a promise I can’t keep.
Luke frowns, as if he knows I’m simply placating him.
“Will you stay with me for a few more minutes?” he asks, sounding far away.
I squeeze his hand in answer, not wanting the moment to end. If I could stay forever, I would.
My eyes flutter open, and I sigh at the memory. Two nights in a row, Luke has commanded my dreams, and as much as I want to lie and say I hate it, I don’t. A part of me will always crave him, because he wills it so. That’s exactly why I need to keep Zeke at arm’s length.
I roll to my side, taking in the sleeping form of the fallen angel next to me. His dark blond hair is matted to his forehead. My hand comes up and swipes the errant strands away, wishing I didn’t have to complicate things.
“You’re awake,” his deep, groggy voice says with a hint of a smile to it.
“I had a nightmare.”
It’s not a complete lie. That memory might’ve been one to hold on to if it were anyone other than Luke it had been shared with.
“What’s going on in that head of yours, pretty girl?”
I sigh. “Too heavy a conversation for this early in the morning,” I admit wearily. “But one we definitely need to have soon.”
Zeke props himself up on one elbow, looking down at me with concern. “Trust me, Tori. Tell me your secrets.”
He has no idea what he’s asking for. The truth will send him packing. He might’ve fallen, but my story is too much for even him to handle.
Trust him.
If I tell him and he runs away, then I can get back to life, hunting and being utterly alone. Or I could confide in someone for the first time, and maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he’ll still choose to stick around.
I don’t say a word, lifting myself from the bed and heading to the single-serve coffee machine sitting on a desk in the corner. I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but every now and then it’s necessary. This is one of those times. I can’t make decisions about sharing my deepest secrets while I’m still half asleep. I can only hope it’ll buy me time to think.
Thankfully, Zeke gives me the space I need, not saying a word. I go about making the coffee, carrying out the mundane steps needed to start the machine. All the while, I can feel his eyes burning a hole into my back. I don’t dare turn around.
I stretch my arms up over my head, stretching out the kinks. Maybe I can distract him enough that once my coffee is done, the subject will be changed to sex. Seems like a great change.
“Tori.” My name’s drawn out in a scold as though Zeke read my mind. “Stop avoiding.”
Luck is not on my side, apparently.
“I’m making coffee, Zeke. Can’t you just be patient?” I call out over my shoulder, not actually making eye contact with him. I’m such a damn chicken.
