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“An idiot?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. I think he wants to help you, honestly, but he’s just bad at… everything.”
“Yeah, well, he can afford to be.” He leaned back in his chair and sighed, and I wondered how the fuck I’d ended up defending Ellis before the first bell even rang.
* * *
Every day last weekI’d rationalized getting a little twist in my gut before fifth period. Nerves related to passing Chem or empty stomach before lunch or my rude ass excited to dunk on Caleb for being a nerd.
None of those were lies, to be fair. But today I was just straight up pounding heart, clammy hands excited to see him, and really I didn’t know when this shit had come over me, but it wasn’t doing me any favors, making it hard to pay attention in the classes I was actually doing okay in. If I wasn’t careful, I was gonna need him to tutor me twenty-four hours a day.
Although I could think of worse things.
For some reason, I had a moment of panic coming into the library, like I was about to wake up from some fucked up dream, like something, somehow, just wouldn’t be right, wouldn’t be real. Things just seemed too good to keep going my way.
But there he was sitting in the back corner, spreading cards out on our table like nothing had changed when pretty much everything had, and god I really liked that about him, what a fucking rock he was. Unshakable.
Really made me want to shake him up. Just a little.
“More games?” I asked, dropping my bag on the floor and slouching down in the chair, playing up the fact that I was still just some asshole he was tutoring in case anyone was listening, which no one was. And just for fun, I guess, and because I liked when his eyes lit up. I would have been kind of disappointed if that part disappeared, the crackling back and forth across the table, but it was there.
“More games,” he agreed, nodding. “That okay with you?”
I tapped my fingers together and then tapped them on the edge of the table, getting so caught up in the repetitive drumming that for a second it turned into obsession and it was hard to stop. “Whatever,” I finally said, yanking my hands away, sending a couple of his perfectly placed cards fluttering down to the floor accidentally. “You’re the tutor.”
He licked across his lip, staring at me hard, and goddamn it, was it actuallybetternow, did I like being a dickmorenow that I was sure he was into it? Maybe. You’d think that would have made it less fun, but that didn’t seem to be the deal. It took the guilt away and now it was just snark and sex and maybe I was better at role play than I thought, or maybe I was just an asshole that didn’t know the difference, but this worked for me.
“You gonna pick those up?” he asked me, raising his eyebrows, nodding toward the floor. There was a blue card down by my foot, Iridium, flipped over on its back, and I could just see the corner of a yellow one further down under the table.
“Wasn’t really planning on it.”
He leaned forward, setting me on fire with his fucking eyes, like they were red instead of just the blue side of gray and god, so fucking pretty. “Let me rephrase that. Pick up those fucking cards.”
I grinned and leaned over to grab the one by my foot and then reached further under the table to grab the other one. Once I was tucked part way underneath, the temptation to slide off my chair and keep going was just too fucking strong.
The carpet was old and thin, but it got vacuumed every day, so it wasn’t especially gross when I crawled across the floor toward him on my hands and knees without even thinking about it.
I slid my hand up the inside of his thigh and waited for him to jump, but he just sat there like it wasn’t even happening, total poker body. Yeah. Couldn’t have that.
I worked myself even closer, rested my cheek against one thigh, dragging my fingers up and down the other one until he finally shifted in his seat, and I literally watched his pants get tighter. One of the many reasons you were supposed to wear fucking jeans to high school.
“What the hell are you doing down there?” His voice was scratchy and low, and I grinned at him trying to keep quiet in the library while his dick got hard.
“Just picking up these cards I dropped. They really went everywhere.”
“Think you’re cute?”
“I know I’m cute.”
He shoved the chair out from the table just enough to reach his hand underneath and find my shoulder, then my hair, shoving his fingers through it and holding me tight against his thigh.
“You are acting very inappropriate.”
I snorted but shivered at the same time. I just couldn’t not get off on it when he used those scolding words, didn’t matter if he was serious or teasing or taking my clothes off. “Yeah, no shit.”
“Don’t make me punish you at school, young man.”
