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“I don’t know.” But even as I say it, my heart tells me it’s not the truth.
“You don’t know because of what happened with Gabriel, or you don’t know because you haven’t thought that far into the future?”
“Why do you always ask the hard questions?”
“Because I’m your best friend and I’m a therapist. It’s what we do.”
“I feel like an idiot.”
“Why?”
“Because I allowed myself to fall for someone I can’t logically have a future with.”
“Because his career path is going to take him to another state.”
“That’s one reason,” I mutter.
“Here’s what I think. You’ve set up a whole bunch of barricades to make this relationship more difficult than it needs to be. I understand keeping it quiet until you’re no longer part of the faculty for all the reasons we’ve talked about. No one wants to be the fodder for that kind of gossip, so I get it. But if you shed the other fears, particularly the age gap between you, and just look at the relationship you’ve formed with him, would you want to try to make it work, distance or no distance? Do you think he’s worth the risks and the challenges?”
I voice the truth I’ve been trying to suppress for months now. “I feel like I’ve met my soul mate.”
“So that’s a yes.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Find out if he’s in the same place you are, and if he is, decide where this is going to go.”
I nod. I know she’s right.
It feels a lot like my stomach is going to turn itself inside out as the minutes tick by while I wait to hear from Maverick. It takes more than half an hour before that happens, and all I can do is run through worst-case scenarios with Sophia.
Five minutes after he messages asking if it’s okay for him to come over, there’s a knock on my patio door. As soon as he steps over the threshold and closes the door behind him, my face is in his hands, and his lips are on mine.
It’s just a soft press, but even as brief as it is, it provides comfort. He pulls back, his eyes searching. “Are you okay?”
I cover his hands with mine. “I’m fine.”
“Such a liar.” He dips down to kiss me again.
Sophia clears her throat, and he pulls back, dropping his hands this time.
“Hey, bestie.” Maverick lifts a hand in a slightly awkward wave.
“Hi, Maverick.” She mirrors the wave and points to the ceiling. “I’m going upstairs, so you two can talk. Text if you need anything.”
“Maybe don’t sleep with your earplugs in tonight,” I suggest.
“I was thinking the same thing. I’ll text when I’m locked in.” She slips her feet back into her shoes and leaves through the sliding glass door. Less than a minute later, I get a text, and I send one back in response while Maverick makes sure all the doors and windows are locked and the house alarm is set.
We go to the kitchen together, and he pulls out two mugs while I fill the kettle.
“I’m sorry about tonight. I saw him and reacted and didn’t think about the mess I might be making for you,” he says softly.
I set the kettle to boil and turn to him, resting my hip against the counter. “Don’t apologize. I know you did it because you were worried. It was probably good that you interrupted.”
“What was he even doing on campus? I’m really starting to wonder if you need an order of protection. My dad has friends on the force, I’m sure he can get it pushed through.”
“You’re not the first person to suggest that tonight. And he’s tired of going through the lawyers.” I shrug. “It’s hard to manipulate me when he can’t get to me.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’ll talk to my lawyer in the morning, but I’d really like to be done at the school before I resort to an order of protection.”
He nods. “Because of the potential backlash, which I understand, but it also concerns me. I’m worried he knows you’re not likely to go to the policebecauseI’m a student.”
“I know. We’re so close, Maverick. The year is almost over. I just don’t want the gossip.”
