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I realize I’m pretty damn drunk when the floor feels like it’s moving under my feet. I have to use the wall to keep me from falling over. I need water. And maybe to puke.
I stumble my way through the living room and out the front door. I trip down the front steps and around the side of the house and relieve myself in a bush. I call an Uber, my stomach twisting uncomfortably.
When the Uber arrives, I cram myself into the back seat. As I’m sitting there, I pull up the introductory email for Clover’s class. Her cell number is at the bottom. A lot of professors do that—give a contact number outside of the university.
I compose and send a single message:
Maverick: Why did you lie?
Seventeen
The Breaking Point
Clover
Today has been a test of my patience. It started with Gabriel stopping by at stupid o’clock in the morning, thinking if he caught me early enough—and half-awake—he would get me to agree to sit down and talk.
I managed to send him on his way. However, my class schedule and office hours are easy enough to get a hold of from the school, which meant he was waiting at my door when I arrived home from work—with flowers, dinner, and paperwork. If I hadn’t let him in the house, he would have made a scene. And that’s about the last thing I need.
Three hours later, my dinner remains untouched, along with my full glass of wine, and the paperwork remains unsigned—it wasn’t the divorce papers, it was the assessment of the cabin.
“I don’t understand why you’re being so rigid, Clover. I’m willing to negotiate fairly, but you haven’t given me a chance here.” He crosses one leg over the other and steeples his hands, leaning in, his voice soft. “Let me take you out. Let’s go for dinner. Tomorrow night. Let me show you I’ve changed.”
“You haven’t changed, though, Gabriel. You’re doing all the same things you did when we were married.”
“We still are married.”
“And why is that?” I hate how smug he looks, like he’s already won.
“Because I believe we can work this out. I’m waiting for you to see that too.”
“And I keep telling you, I don’t want to work this out. Marrying you was a mistake.”
He leans back, expression shifting. “Your mistake was running away and hiding for a goddamn year. It’s childish and dramatic, Clover.”
“You cut me off from my family and friends!”
“That’s untrue and unfair, and you know it.” He gives me a disapproving look. It makes my blood boil. “You know I couldn’t pass up that job in Rhode Island. It was too good an opportunity.”
“That’s not how it went, Gabriel. You can’t keep turning things around on me and making yourself the good guy in this. You isolated me, changed my cell phone provider without me knowing, tracked me through my phone, blocked my friends from calling me—”
“That tracking app was meant to keep you safe. There had been a rash of break-ins in the area.”
I rub the space between my eyes. “You’re always going to have an excuse for your behavior and your actions. These gifts? They’re not going to win me back. In fact, they’re going to do the opposite. You keep telling me you want to reconcile, but you have no regard for my feelings. And how am I supposed to believe anything you say when in the next breath, you’re telling me you want the cabin? You’ve only ever been there once and hated it!”
“Look at you, getting yourself all worked up, and over what? A shack in the woods. This is ridiculous. I am trying my best here. Your hysterics are unnecessary.” He inspects his nails, as if I’m boring him.
“You need to leave before I call the police.”
He gives me a look. “Oh, come on. Look at yourself, Clover. What do you think the police are going to do? You’re a train wreck. No one is going to love you the way I do. If you can’t make it work with me, who can you make it work with?”
“Get the fuck out now!” I shout, hating that I’m giving him exactly what he wants—my emotions, my tears, my frustration.
He raises his hands in supplication. “No need to shout. I’m only two feet away from you, my love.” His chair scrapes across the floor as he pushes away from the table. “I’ll come back when you’re calmer and capable of having a rational conversation.”
I follow him to the front foyer and wait until he has his things. He tries to forget his scarf, but I make sure that doesn’t happen. As soon as he leaves, I lock the door behind him. Tonight, Sophia is out with a few of the therapists from her office. I should have gone with her when she invited me, but with the last few finals coming up, I thought it would be better to stay home.
I fill a glass with water and take an Advil to offset the headache knocking on my temples. I need Gabriel to sign the divorce papers, so I can be done with this and move on.
