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“Don’t I? You still don’t trustme,yet you think I should trust you?”
“I’ve done everything in my power to earn your trust,” he argued, rising to stand.
“As I have.”
He gave her a withering look. As he spoke, he ticked off his fingers. “You stole from me, you stole from Zeek, you lied to get onto my ship, and, oh yeah, you’re still hiding your identity from me.”
“Yes, I lied to get onto your ship, but for good reason, which I told you about. And yes, I stole, but again, I had good reason. It was all to protect us and keep us safe. Since then, I’ve helped you and the crew in any way I can. And my identity is my own personal business. Period. But do you know what Ihaven’tdone? I haven’t hidden my intentions from you.”
“That’s debatable. Are you suggesting I have?”
“Twice now you’ve tried to remove my holo-gear without permission. And you keep digging about my past, trying to figure out where I’m from. You won’t stop until you do.”
“That’s not true.” He wished the statement didn’t ring false, even to him.
“You ordered Ash and Lear to get closer to Caryn so they could try to trick her into giving something away.”
“How did you…who told you that?”
“No one told me.”
“Then how could you know that?”
“Notice how you’re not denying it?”
He ran his hands through his hair and paced. “This secret you keep is like a wall between us. I only want it out of the way.”
“That isn’t your decision to make.”
“Isn’t it? When I’m the one keeping you safe? I deserve to know the truth.”
She retreated another step, looking crestfallen, and he knew he’d said the exact wrong thing.
Her words came out in a dull, yet resigned, tone. “If you don’t like it, we can leave. It’s that simple.”
He sighed in frustration. “That’s not what I want.”
“I know.” The glossy shine to her eyes cut him to the bone. “You don’t want much. Just everything. Just all of me. The shitty thing is, that’s only what youthinkyou want, but you don’t. Not really. You want the fantasy. The beautiful, exciting, mysterious stranger who lights up your world.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” Was that all she thought she meant to him?
“It’s not me. Not the whole me. It’s only what I let you see. The parts of me I know you’ll like. You said it yourself, I’m good at manipulating people. I’ve done it all my life. I do it over and over, until it doesn’t work anymore, and then I move on. Well, maybe it’s time to move on.”
His gut wrenched. “You’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”
“Perhaps.” Her gaze lowered to the floor. “I’m not sure. All I know is that I’ve been screwed over a lot by people I thought I could trust.”
“You can trust me.”
“Funny. Of all the people I’ve ever trusted, not one of them said ‘youcan’ttrust me’. But the one thing I’m sure of? You don’t want me. Not the real me. Not the ugly bits. The damaged thief who lies and cheats and steals whenever it suits her. You don’t want that.” She emphasized her words with a shake of her head. “But that’s part of who I am. Stone to chisel; it’s part of how I was shaped. I know it’s not always right. I know I’m flawed, but it’s how I survive. I’ll do whatever I have to,wheneverI have to.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that for you anymore. I can take care of you, if you’ll just let me. If you’ll just trust me.”
“How can I, when you do things like order Ash and Lear to cozy up to Caryn for information? They’ll get nothing from her, by the way. She’s not as weak as you all might believe.”
He glanced away, avoiding her penetrating glare. He’d feared they were being too obvious. Apparently, he’d been right. “The more I know, the better I can protect you both.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Aidan pondered how this evening had gone south so fast. “Just because you had a bad experience in the past doesn’t mean you will with me.”
“Notabad experience. Many.” She sighed and shook her head in a resigned manner. “Look, I’m sorry I led you on. But I think it’s time for me and Caryn to depart.”
A sharpness in his chest twisted painfully, gouging flesh and gristle. She’d confirmed his fear. She hadn’t truly wanted him.
Adding another cruel turn to the blade, she pivoted and headed for the door, walking away from him. Something vile burned in his esophagus.
“So this is who you are?” he called. “A coward? The girl who runs away when things get tough?”
She halted and offered her profile. “I’m the girl who survives.”
