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“It’s not too late,” she said.
“Do you have an extra?”
“Do I have an extra... Penis?”
A smile spread, slow and dirty over his face, and she wanted to... Punch him. She really wanted to punch him. “I just have the one, that’s all.”
She felt like she was going to choke. On horror, heat, arousal, or maybe all three. “Wow. Well, this has been delightful. How long are you up here for?”
“Until the wedding.”
“You’re not serious,” she said.
“I am serious. I’m here to the wedding because there are some things to set up.”
“No,” she said. “No, because... I’m here until the wedding.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No,” she said.
“Good.”
“Like I told you. We don’t have...”
“We don’t have a situation,” he said, his eyes giving off way too much heat.
“Not even a little one. Not at all.”
“Good to know. I’m glad. Because I want the wedding to be perfect. And I would hate for anything to interfere.”
“Nothing will interfere.”
“Good. In fact, we could probably be of some use to each other. What do you think?”
She blinked. And really, she had no reason to refuse him. If there were things that could be done, things that they could do collaboratively... It actually just made sense. Because the truth of the matter was, nothing had ever happened between them. Nothing beyond a few warmish exchanges that had left her feeling flustered. And that was all her. Kit was Kit, which meant that he was a flirt, because he didn’t know another way to be. It was simply how he was, and that was the way of it. She knew that. There was no reason to go getting heated up.
So yeah. Why not. But not now. Because right now was awkward.
“Well. I’m just going to... Take my basket of penises and go.”
“Okay.”
“Maybe I’ll have a bath.”
“Okay.”
And suddenly she felt overly hot, because it was like her mouth was just saying things, and she didn’t have any control over it.
“I’m out of practice,” she said. “With the talking to people. That I’m not related to. Sorry.”
He nodded slowly, and right then, his expression did something sort of genuine. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sorry about your husband.”
That he linked her lack of social skills with her loss was...weirdly touching. His awareness of it, of her as a person, was sort of unexpected. She didn’t know what to do with it.
“Thank you.”
She swallowed hard, and went into the house, and just as she did, she remembered what Juniper had told her about their family. That they’d had a sister. And she died when they were kids.
That was why he looked at her like that. That was why he said it with that kind of gravity. It was why he knewI’m sorrywas enough. Because there were no platitudes that made it okay. There was no grand speech to give that was going to magically make it all less painful. It just... Was. It was lost. The loss was lost. You couldn’t fix it. Couldn’t go back. Couldn’t change it. Couldn’t hold on to him for five more minutes before he walked out the door to change the timing so that when the other pickup truck crossed the yellow line his car wasn’t there. No. She couldn’t go back. She couldn’t fix it. She wasn’t prescient. She hadn’t been able to prevent it. She hadn’t even had a bad feeling about the day.
No. She’d been over it a hundred times. Magical thinking didn’t have any kind of place in the grief sphere.
And the way he’d said that. All practical. He knew. He knew. And she really appreciated that.
Who would’ve thought that she would appreciate an encounter with Kit. Well. And who would’ve thought that she would be standing in front of him with a basket full of phalli. But, it was that kind of day. It was just that kind of day.
And she really was going to take a long hot bath and put all of it out of her mind.
