AllFreeNovel
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“Yes. I do. I’m sorry about that. It’s hard. I can’t imagine what it must be like when it’s a child.”
“Loss is loss. You don’t need to go ranking it. But yeah. I... She wasn’t well for a long time. And I took care of her. We all did but... I just wanted to make her comfortable. And sometimes that was impossible. But it obsessed me. Distracting her, trying to do things to make her happy... And when I lost that, I didn’t really know what to do. For me, that looked like a lot of years of bordering on juvenile delinquency. But eventually I figured that wasn’t a very good tribute to Sophie. And that was when I got serious about the rodeo. And it just gave me something to do that was... That was something. I’m not going to say I made anything for the greater good, but it brought me closer to my family again. Because that’s what we do. So it seemed like a worthy enough pursuit. I guess bull riding is my ‘and then.’ There will be another one too. Because I can’t do it forever.”
“How many new lives are we supposed to live?”
“As many as we need to, I guess.”
“I guess.”
They ate in relative silence after that. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a conversation that was so... It brushed up against all the difficult things he preferred not to think about. And yet, he wanted to talk to her because she was asking him those questions. Because it didn’t come from a place of gawking at pain, but of sharing it. Because she knew what loss was, and... And that was the thing. If he could make the loss of his sister mean something, he was always willing to take that opportunity.
If it could be used to help her, well, that seemed like a decent enough tribute. At least, the best he had.
When they finished up, they carried their plates inside and put them in the sink. It wasn’t all that late, but Shelby picked up her bag and began to sidle out of the room. “So just... Any of the rooms upstairs that don’t already have your stuff in them?”
“Yep. I took the first one, because I’m lazy. So any of the others...”
“Great.” She walked slowly up the stairs. “Thank you. For giving me a place to stay.”
“Thank you for... Eating dinner with me.”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
And then she disappeared down the hall, and he couldn’t help but feel that he had let an opportunity slip by. But he couldn’t quite say exactly what it was.
