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But now only this mattered. Not tomorrow, and not yesterday. Only this.
And he was everything. Everything she had never allowed herself to fantasize about and more.
His lips were hot and all-consuming, and she felt his kiss burn through her like a wildfire. Burn through her without compromise.
She throbbed between her legs, excitement blooming in her midsection, her breasts growing heavy. Her nipples demanding his touch.
She had never kissed another man. And yet, it felt like because it was Kit it just fit.
And it was a good moment for it. For him. Because she knew what she wanted. She knew what to demand of him. She knew where she wanted to be touched and how.
And suddenly, he moved his big hands down her back, down to cup her ass, and he squeezed her hard, commanding and possessive in a way she never experienced, and she realized that even if she might know what to demand, there were other things that he knew.
And suddenly, that feeling of inexperience, the lack of understanding of how he might touch her. Taste her. Of what he might choose, made her feel giddy with excitement and nervous like she was a virgin.
Because she knew where this was going. Wherever they had to go. Wherever they had to go to make it happen, she knew that this wasn’t ending in the field. That it wasn’t ending at a kiss.
With her legs wrapped firmly around his waist, he held her and began to walk back toward the bachelor house.
“You should put me down,” she whispered, breaking the silence for the first time, and she regretted it. Because she had broken it with her uncertainty, and she didn’t want to bring uncertainty into this.
But he did nothing but chuckle against her mouth, the way his breath filled her causing her to shiver.
“I’m good.”
She realized that they were going into the house. “Everyone’s camping,” he said as he walked them up the porch, and she disentangled her legs from around his waist, feeling a little bit silly that he was carrying her like she was a koala bear.
But all he did was lift her up fully into his arms, opening the door and closing it behind them, before kissing her hard right there in the entry, deep and unending.
“This is what you wanted, right? You didn’t want steak. You didn’t want to banter with me about ribbon curls, or just stand there watching me drink a beer. Or even have me open yours. This is what you wanted.”
She nodded slowly. “And it’s what you wanted too.”
“Back before we even had a situation,” he said, the words rough and ground out.
And the explosion of desire that ignited in her was too all-consuming to deny. “Thank God,” she said, and she grabbed his face and kissed him. With everything she had. With everything pent up and brilliant in her.
She kissed him. She kissed him because she didn’t have another choice. She kissed him because he was everything. She kissed him because if she didn’t she might die.
And then she realized they were moving again, that he was carrying her up the stairs.
“Good thing you chose the closest bedroom,” she said.
He laughed, but it sounded strange. He pushed the door open, and then slammed it shut behind them, pushing the lock. “Just in case. You never know who’s going to wimp out and try to use the indoor plumbing.”
“Or notice that you’re gone,” she said softly.
“They are pretty wasted,” he said. “And there are a lot of us.”
“Yeah. My sister and her friends were pretty wasted too.” She blinked. “You’re not wasted.” She just needed to check. Because if Kit Carson needed to be drawn to have sex with her, that was a little bit embarrassing.
“Haven’t had a drop.”
“Me neither.”
And right then, as they stared at each other in the dimly lit room, she wondered if that was why neither of them had had any booze. Because if they were drunk, it would’ve dulled their senses for this. Would’ve created a gray area where one of them might have wanted to refuse because the other one was compromised. Or, they both could’ve been sloppy drunk, but then they wouldn’t have remembered it. And there was one thing she knew for certain. This was her only shot. Because it was complicated, and neither of them wanted that.
This was just the fulfillment of a fantasy. And it was one she really needed. Because she was trying to find a way to move on. Trying to find a way to make a change, and this was it. It was what she needed. But it wasn’t going to be a regular thing.
