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“None. You’ve never been pregnant before. I’ve never gotten anyone pregnant before. I don’t generally...or ever, have sex without condoms. It was very important to me to avoid this. I didn’t. In this case. So... I think marriage makes the most sense.”
“I’ve been married, Kit,” she said, her voice suddenly soft. “We didn’t have a baby. And we were married. Husband and wife. Childless the whole time. Kids are not what marriage is. Marriage is about loving somebody. Being in a partnership. Marriage is about choosingthem. Not... Some version of a family.”
“I think marriage can be either thing. Sometimes people get married for that reason. Sometimes people get married for convenience. Sometimes people get married for kids.”
“Not me. Not me. I will never get married for less than what I had before.”
And he didn’t know why, but that stuck in his chest. More than a little bit. But he couldn’t argue with her. Not really.
“I’m moving in with you, then.”
“No,” she said. “There’s no reason to do that. I could have a miscarriage. Something could go wrong. I don’t even have the baby.”
“So we can move in together after you have the baby.”
“Or we share custody. Like grown-ups. Or we decide what it looks like then.”
All these things were foreign to him. And none of it was making sense. None of it was clicking. He wanted her with him. All the time. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to keep an eye out for her. He wanted to keep surveillance on the baby in utero and out constantly. To make sure that everything was fine. To make sure they were safe. How could he keep her safe if he didn’t have her with him?
“No. This is not going to work for me. You need to move in with me, or I need to move in with you. This has to... This has to be my choice.”
“No,” she said.
“I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to fight you for full custody if you don’t do this.”
“Well, I will sic your brother on you. And I’m pretty sure I’ll win that fight. Because Juniper and Chance are going to side with me.”
And there was the entanglement working against him in a way he hadn’t quite envisioned. His brother was accountable to her sister. And he had a whole bunch of threats inside him all bottled up. A desperate bid to control the situation, and he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it, because she wasn’t wrong. His brother would tear him a new one. Or just remove the part of his anatomy that had accomplished making the baby in the first place.
“Well, I’m going to be at your house. Every morning. On your damned doorstep. Making sure you’re okay.”
“Why are you being a nightmare? Why don’t we get to know each other?”
“Because I don’t want to get to know you. You’re the mother of my child.”
“It is a zygote, Kit. Calm down.”
“No. I will not calm down. Because you can twist and spin situations in life all you want. And you can try to avoid thinking about the logical, reasonable outcomes of things, and you can try to live in denial, but it does not change anything. Believe me. I’ve done that. I tried it. I tried just...being positive and happy for my sister when she was dying and...trying to be optimistic. It doesn’t change a damn thing. When shit comes for you, you have to deal with it. You have to be realistic.”
“I’m realistic. Don’t talk to me now like I’ve never lost anything. Don’t talk to me like I don’t understand that life is difficult. I do. I do. I know how hard things can be. You know I know it. You know I do.”
“Shelby,” he said, suddenly feeling like there was a boulder in his chest. “I don’t see it working where the two of us are trading a kid back and forth on the weekend.”
“It has to. Because that’s the only thing that I can deal with. Kit, it’s all there can ever be.”
They sat in silence for a long time. “We’ll see.”
“This isn’t a negotiation.”
“And that’s where you’re wrong. Because it isn’t just your life anymore. And it isn’t just mine. We are going to have to figure out what’s best for this kid. And I’m going to argue my position on that.”
And he could see that he had stumped her there.
“So what now?” she asked.
“Let’s schedule a doctor appointment.”
“Okay.”
