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Chapter 1
Just thinking of attending her first ball filled Lady Bridget Beaumont, the daughter of the Marquess of Fernside, with dread. But somehow, the more Bridget thought about it, the less dreadful the idea became, and instead, it started to transform into something thrilling.
“You absolutely must come, Bridget,” her younger sister Sarah urged, her voice soft and soothing, but Bridget could hear the note of pleading underneath. “I need my sister there.”
Of the two sisters, Bridget was the lighter one with honey-blonde hair smooth as silk, usually fashioned into a chic chignon which revealed her alabaster toned complexion. Sarah, only a single year younger than her sister, was the one with chocolate brown hair and eyes of the same deep, brown shade. Their eyes, although of strikingly different colors, blue and brown, were equally stunning. Unforgettable, even. But one main difference between them was that Sarah could easily see her reflection in the mirror. She could see the beauty of the world around her and pinpoint everything with just her sense of vision while her sister did not have that luxury. Still, although she was blind, Bridget’s sky-blue eyes and the milky hue that fell over them could not conceal the innate perseverance which adorned this lady.
“You are not thinking this through, dear Sarah,” Bridget replied as she sat on the chaise lounge with her back straight and her hands resting in her lap. “Being at a ball means conversing with people and, of course, entertaining suitors. How are you suppose to go about that while tending to me?”
The idea of finding herself alone without a guide in a place she had never been before and surrounded by a large number of people filled Bridget with more dread. However, what really mortified her was the fact that she might, at any moment, become a burden to those she loved the most.
Coming out was the biggest event of every young lady’s life: her stepping into the world of adults and the announcement of her availability as a future bride. Bridget never came out to society. Both her father and brother urged her to do so, but she would not hear it. Instead, she managed to convince them that her coming out was a futile affair, for no one would wish to court her anyway. Repeatedly, her family tried to assure her that would not be the case, but Bridget was reasonable enough to know better. She did not have her head up in the clouds. Perhaps she did before the accident, but now, she was a different person, a person who knew where her place in society was. It was much less painful to accept reality than to have false hope and have it break her heart.
“But we shall all be there,” Sarah reminded her gently.
Bridget could hear that her sister had stood up from the armchair and started to pace about the room. As a blind person, Bridget’s hearing was acute, especially in an old house such as their own where each of the floorboards made a sound. Those with eyes paid little heed to such things, but Bridget’s dark world relied on sound to make sense of it.
“Mama and Papa will help you acquaint yourself with the ballroom in my absence. You know they will not leave your side unless you want them to, and Oliver will be there as well.”
Yes, Oliver. The other sibling who was even more protective of Bridget, and who would sacrifice his own good time in favor of taking care of his blind sister. Oliver Beaumont, the Viscount of Hatcher, was five and twenty years of age, and he was expected to find a lady from a good family and marry her. He was not expected to be by his blind sister’s side at a time when he should be paying attention to ladies attending the ball.
If anyone were to be Bridget’s eyes, that would be Sarah. Bridget particularly enjoyed their strolls down Market Street, when she could smell the fresh bread being baked, but she could not see it. The two sisters would stop in front of the bakery window, and Sarah would describe everything she could see, down to the minutest detail. Then, with her mind’s eye, Bridget could recreate the image for herself, only hers was much more potent, amplified by the overpowering smells.
Sarah was her eyes, and during a ball where she was to speak to potential suitors, that was the last thing Bridget wished for her sister to be. Sarah needed to use her eyes to see for herself, not for her blind sister.
“You both should have fun and not constantly worry about me.” Bridget could not be convinced although she appreciated her sister’s efforts. “I shall remain home, like before, and have Henrietta read to me.”
She was referring to her lady’s maid, who had always been of much help on occasions when the rest of the family had gone off to balls and other events. Not wishing to be a burden on anyone, especially not her family, Bridget had managed to become accustomed to a life in the darkness. She found out how to see with her ears, with her nose, and, most importantly, with her hands.
“Oh, dearest Bridget, have you not remained home long enough?” Sarah’s voice finally managed to pierce through the veil of Bridget’s refusal.
Bridget felt a sudden discontentment. If asked whether there was something wrong, she could not reply affirmatively, for there was honestly nothing wrong. Then again, she felt like there was nothing quite right. Life had become lackluster somehow as if every day were the same.
She knew she had much to be grateful for, mostly her family who she could rely on no matter what. But that was inside this grand old house while outside people went about experiencing romance and adventure. The thought of her never experiencing those things made her sigh heavily.
“You cannot tell me that you enjoy sitting home alone,” Sarah continued, seeing that Bridget was lost in thought. Her voice was now laden with worry although Bridget didn’t think that Sarah had any reason to be worried about her.
“I have a non-existent social life,” Bridget reminded her sister with the truth of those words pricking her ever so softly, like the thorn on a rose she would bend down to smell during a walk in a garden. “It suits me this way. Why change anything now?”
Why change anything now indeed? She had finally come to terms with never marrying, never becoming someone’s wife, never becoming a duchess, and never holding a babe in her arms. Those truths hurt like a knife through the heart, but Bridget knew that false hope would hurt more.
“Because people wish to see you,” Sarah exclaimed excitedly. “Not only us, your family, but you have invitations to balls which you yourself keep refusing.”
“I do not wish to go out in public, only to be reminded how cruel and tactless people can be.”
Bridget had more than enough brushes with people who believed they were entitled to rude comments and even more rude questions regarding her eyesight. Some of them were well-meaning, she had to admit that. They were simply driven by curiosity about her condition, but that that still didn’t mean that she enjoyed those conversations, or the way people would talk to her, not as if she were blind, but as if she were a child. These conversations and the resulting feelings were part of the reason why she had refused her own coming out. She wanted to save herself the heartache in more ways than one.
“We shall be there with you, every step of the way,” Sarah assured her. “As soon as you feel overwhelmed, we shall be there to whisk you away, so you don’t need to endure such bothersome people.”
Bridget could hear her sister walk up to the chaise lounge, her carefully measured footsteps making very little sound which would immediately get absorbed in the Axminster carpet. Gently, Sarah took Bridget’s hand as she sat down beside her. Bridget could feel all the love that flowed from her sister’s warm touch. There, she could find all the assurance she needed to face the world again. Perhaps Sarah was right. Bridget had indeed grown bored of her life inside these walls. There was a big world out there. One needed to explore it, even when one could not see it with one’s eyes. After all, there were many ways of seeing something.
“Oh, I’m still not certain…” Bridget hesitated. The house was safety, comfort. It meant that here, she could tend to herself easily. If she agreed to go, she would be in a completely new place. She would be in need of a guiding hand at all times, dependent on someone throughout the entire night. That was the part she disliked.
“There is nothing to be uncertain about,” Sarah chirped, jumping up and pulling Bridget up with her. “We shall inform Mama immediately that you are to join us. This news will delight everyone!”
Bridget smiled. In moments like this, she would give everything to see her sister smile again. Instead, she had to be content with merely touching her sister’s face with the palm of her hand and feeling the gentle motions of her jaw and cheek, but even that was enough to fill Bridget’s heart with joy and remind her how fortunate she was to be surrounded by loving family.
“Oh, and we must choose a dress for you!” Sarah squealed in delight, almost a like a kitten. Bridget chuckled softly at the sound.
