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Little changed since he got married. Breakfasts were still a solitary affair. Dinners, however, were not. Amelia had someone always managed to either skip breakfast altogether or wake up earlier than him and finish with it by the time he would appear. This was the first time that he actually caught her still eating. The thought of sharing another meal together exalted him strangely although he fought the feeling.
He helped himself to some toast and started to butter it up when he noticed that she was looking at him somehow expectantly. He returned the gaze, anticipating that she would immediately look away. Only, she did not. She kept staring at him, her lips parted, as if the words were on the tip of her tongue, and she simply needed a little push to get them out.
“Is everything all right?” he wondered, putting both the knife and the toast down to focus on the conversation that would ensue.
“Yes, I…” she started, sounding a bit confused and flustered as she spoke. “I was wondering if you would be going to my… I mean, your new winery these days.”
“No,” he shook his head, correcting her.
“I see,” she said, sounding disappointed. “Well… could you let me know when you plan on going?”
“I meant, no, it is not just my winery,” he continued with the correction. “It is yours as well.”
“Oh,” she seemed caught off guard by this deduction of facts.
“Of course,” he nodded. “Just because I bought it, it doesn’t mean that it ceases to be yours as well. After all, you are my wife.”
He hadn’t said it many times since the moment they got married. When he did, it still sounded as foreign as that first time. She washis wife.Although, nothing apart from a ring on her finger and the change of her surname suggested that. They hadn’t been anywhere in public together yet, and while here inside the house, they were living separate lives with occasional get togethers in different rooms. Like ships in the night, sailing the same sea but barely able to see each other through the fog and darkness.
“And to answer your question,” he continued, “I was actually planning on going there today. I need to see the condition it is in and what needs to be done in order to regenerate production.”
She sounded surprised. “You mean to say you won’t close it?”
He frowned. “Why would I? It actually generates more business than my own winery ever did. It would be a rather unwise business decision to close it.”
He told her the truth although he was surprised to realize that she thought he planned on doing exactly the opposite. Her family winery had always been a competitive business. In fact, Arthur considered their winery his best and worst opponent, and he knew that his own winery would never be able to offer better quality wines because of the richness of the soil that his winery simply did not possess. Therefore, the only wise way of removing it from his path was to add it to one of his businesses. The addition of obtaining a wife along the way was yet another benefit he received.
“You do know it hasn’t been a flourishing business in quite a while now?” she reminded him cautiously.
“I am well aware of that fact,” he nodded, strangely grateful for her point of view. She was honest, and he appreciated that, more than anything else. He had been lied to so many times that he almost ceased to believe that there were people out there worth trusting. “But I also know that such a business needs just a little nudge in the right direction to regain its old glory.”
She seemed to like this idea so much that she granted him a smile.
“Why do you ask?” he wondered.
“I was hoping to accompany you there,” she revealed. He wasn’t expecting that. His plan was to spend less time with her, not more. But it seemed that fate always had other plans. He simply could not think of a reason why she should not come with him.
“If you wish, I shall gladly take you along,” he said, making sure that he didn’t sound too eager about it which he was. His mind kept telling him to keep away from her, that closeness with this woman could bring no good. She had already expressed her wishes, and they were for them to live separate lives even though they were bound by name and title. He could not afford to open up to such a woman who seemed to know exactly what she wanted and, as a result, what she did not want. He was what she did not want. She had made that perfectly clear.
“I would be grateful for that,” she replied, taking the napkin into her hand and proceeding to pat the corner of her lips with it, signaling that for her, breakfast had come to an end. She stood up, and he immediately did the same. “I shall be in the library. Please inform me when you wish us to depart.”
“Of course,” he nodded, watching her go, then he slumped back into his seat.
He glanced at the newspapers. Needless to say, he would not be able to focus on anything in there right now. There was no point in even opening them. Instead, he quickly finished his toast, drank his tea, and went to arrange for their departure.
* * *
The carriage ride was not long, but the silence made it seem much longer than it actually was. They both turned away from each other, gazing out of their respective windows. Occasionally, he thought he saw her looking in his direction, but he did not look back. He dared not. Just one sentence would be enough to open an entire chasm of danger which he was reluctant to fall into. It was enough that she was here with him so dangerously close. In fact, she was so close that he could smell her flowery perfume which beckoned him to come to her, to bury his nose in her neck and inhale as deeply as he could. It took all of his conscious effort not to succumb to that temptation.
Instead, he tried to focus on the passing trees and the sun that tried to pierce its way through the greenery of the branches above them. He tried to focus on anything other than the beautiful, luscious woman sitting across from him who only seemed to become lovelier and lovelier with each passing day.
When the carriage finally stopped, he exited first, offering her his hand on her way out. Even the touch of her gloved hand felt electric. She stood firmly on her feet as she adjusted her bonnet, lifting it slightly at her forehead. A few loose curls fell to the sides of her diamond-shaped face. Her lips seemed somehow redder than usual, plumper, fuller, more luscious. Everything about her was more beckoning in the sunlight of the winery that fell into his hands along with her.
“Perhaps you would like to give me a tour of the place?” he suggested, offering her his hand. It would have been rude to allow her to walk on her own although her presence, this closeness, terrified him more than it ever did before. He was becoming afraid of his own reactions to her, fearing that his body might betray in some way how he was starting to feel about her even though his mind was still adamant in assuring him that it was just simple physical attraction and nothing else.
After all, he had not had a woman in quite a while. Was it not only normal then that he would be aroused at seeing her in her nightgown that first evening? Indeed, it could all be easily explained by nature. Man was in essence an animal. A clothed animal with imposed rules it had to obey but an animal, nonetheless. And every animal was a slave to its needs. This too should pass soon. He simply needed to be patient and keep his needs under control.
“Why not,” she replied, resting her hand on his, leading the way.
