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In a way, Amelia had already accepted her fate of a spinster. The fact that she was now to become a married woman was unthinkable. It was still something she was struggling to accept as her reality, even as she spoke to Jane this evening.
Falling in love was a malady. It was something to be avoided at all costs… for her. In Jane’s case, it was a must. Jane had to marry the man she loved, the man who loved her back even more than she loved him. That was a promise that Amelia had made to herself. She would sacrifice her own happiness for her sister’s in a blink of an eye. If one of them had to remain a spinster for the rest of her life, that didn’t necessarily mean that the other sister would be doomed to the same fate. Now, it seemed that nothing was to happen as Amelia thought it would. She felt as if someone had pulled the rug right from underneath her feet, then pushed her into a bottomless pit. Now, she was falling and falling without the slightest idea of where she might land.
“All I am saying,” Amelia finally continued, once she managed to calm herself down, “is that I have no fear that I shall fall in love with the Duke, nor is he in danger of having that same thing happen to him. There shall never be any emotions between us, I am absolutely certain of that. That is why –”
“But… how can you be certain of that?” Jane interrupted her inquisitively, tilting her head as if in an effort to take a closer, more introspective look at her sister and find out a most profound truth about human relationships.
“Well…” For a moment, Amelia was caught off guard. Her sister’s question was deep. It required a deep answer as well. Only, Amelia did not have any. “The man seems to have a block of ice for a heart. I could never fall in love with someone who is so detached and distanced.”
“So, you didn’t really talk while you took that short walk together?” Jane continued.
“We did,” Amelia revealed, “but it didn’t expose much about him other than the fact which we already knew, and that is the real reason of his purchase of the winery.”
“He is afraid that we might bring it back to its old glory and drive him out of business?” Jane pointed out.
“Exactly,” Amelia nodded. “He thinks that we are too silly to see through his actions, but we know all. We see all. I want to make this absolutely clear to him when I go see him tomorrow.”
“You will go and see him tomorrow?” Jane gasped once more, her blue eyes wide with disbelief.
“Yes,” Amelia sounded more calm than she thought she would be. It pleased her. That meant that she had everything under control. “I shall need your help with that.”
“But… how?”
“We shall tell father that we are going for a stroll to Hyde Park,” Amelia explained, “while, in fact, we shall pay the Duke a visit. You shall remain in the carriage while I have a very quick word with him in private.”
“But Amelia, that is inappropriate!”
“I know,” Amelia nodded, “but it is the only way in which I can assure that he knows that I will not succumb to his orders and demands. If we are to become a man and wife, then he needs to know that there are certain rules which we shall both need to follow.”
“Rules like what?” Jane wondered.
“Well,” Amelia sighed. “First of all, we shall have separated chambers without any physical contact of… you know which kind.”
Immediately upon hearing that, her sister blushed fervently. Even Amelia caught herself feeling slightly flustered as it was not the usual topic of their conversation. Suddenly, she remembered how he held her hand. His proximity did nothing to her. He was a handsome man, she could not deny him that, but the air of utter impertinence that he oozed destroyed the little charm that he could have possessed otherwise. Indeed, she could not possibly imagine herself falling for this man ever, despite his good looks which were only slightly marred by his scars. There were reddish protrusions to the side of his neck which she imagined went down into the insides of his shirt, hidden from plain sight. His left hand also bore marks of scorched skin, now fully healed but never able to revert back to its pristine condition.
Amelia wondered how it was to live with such scars that were out there in the open for all the world to see. Fortunately, she did not know. She tried not to think about it. After all, it was not like she would ever be seeing him without his clothes on nor would he ever see her. There was not a single doubt in her mind about that.
“Do you think he would agree to that?” Jane asked cautiously.
“I do not care one bit whether he will want to agree with it or not.” Amelia was adamant at arranging this situation to make it as painless for herself as possible. If that meant that she needed to show her teeth right from the onset, so be it. “If he refuses to comply with these few, minor conditions that I have, then I shall refuse his hand in marriage.”
“But… what about Father?” Jane kept asking one question after the other as Amelia revealed her plan which she was becoming less and less certain of. But it was the only direction in which she could keep moving. The alternative meant that she would remain in one place under the thumb of yet another man, just like she had been under the thumb of her father all her life.
“Father cannot force me to marry anyone,” Amelia stated.
Of course, that was only partly true. As the daughter of an earl, the firstborn at that, Amelia knew what her duties might be. By marrying into money to save her own family from ruin, she was executing the duty of a daughter. However, she could also refuse to comply. That, in itself, brought forth numerous complications and repercussions which Amelia dreaded to even think about. One of them might simply be that their father would force Jane to marry the Duke, and Jane, being the good, kind soul that she was, would comply. Her life would be ruined. Amelia could never allow that.
“Also, I am certain that the Duke will see reason,” Amelia finally concluded, more in an effort to convince herself than her sister.
“Oh, Amelia,” Jane suddenly wrapped her arms around her sister, laying her head on Amelia’s shoulder. Amelia in turn, embraced Jane’s delicate little body, and they remained like that for a small eternity, just embracing each other, allowing the love to flow from one of them to the other and back.
When they finally released each other, Amelia could see that Jane was crying. She wiped her sister’s cheek with her thumb.
“I told you, sweet Jane,” Amelia smiled although it was the most difficult smile she ever had to force out of herself. “There is nothing to worry about. The Duke seems like a reasonable man. Cold people usually are. Finding common ground, some rules which shall benefit us both, shall be easy. I am absolutely certain of it.”
“You are?” Jane’s voice trembled. She desperately wanted to be reassured.
“Of course,” Amelia nodded. There was not a single thread of doubt in her voice. “Now, go to bed. It is quite late. And tomorrow, we have a big mission ahead of us.”
