AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Listen closer. Close your eyes, focus."
I'm really starting to hate this man. I'm able to recognize now what he's doing. He's trying to distract me from what's inside my head, which would be fine if it wasn't in the most obnoxious way possible. "I hear my thoughts."
"That's good enough. Two things you can smell."
"I smell bacon." I close my eyes finally, giving in since I think we should be nearing the end, if my ability to count backwards is correct. The only other thing I can smell in this room is his cologne, manly and earthy. He may sit behind a computer but he smells like one of those super naturey scents- sandalwood or teak maybe.
"One more thing. You can do it."
I squeeze my eyes harder and try to findanythingelse to list. There’s nothing. This whole place smells like Josiah right now, especially this close in an enclosed space with him. “You. You’re the only other thing I can smell,” I admit.
Josiah nods along. “One thing you can taste.”
“Mint.” The taste of my toothpaste is the only thing left in my mouth since I haven’t gotten to eat breakfast or drink any coffee yet.
“Good. Take a deep breath for me.” He switches his hold on my hand so he can rub those damn circles against my skin.
I force air into my lungs and blow it out slowly, letting his touch and the oxygen calm me. “Why did Rhett come all the way out here just to yell at us?”
Josiah’s eyes soften as he checks me over, like he’s making sure I can handle it. “He’s worried about you. The maximum security prison, as you called it, has been solitary confinement for nine years. I’ve never had someone here with me, and you’ve been here for almost a month. Isolating myself while you’re here is bound to make him think the worst.”
“Why are you isolating yourself?” After nine years, shouldn’t he want to communicate with people?
“Because I don’t trust anyone outside these gates. Go eat your breakfast, Phoebe.” Josiah opens the door and follows me through into the house.
Chapter Twenty
Skids
Breakfast is cold but still delicious. Phoebe’s words are keeping me calm. ‘I’m not going anywhere’. Goddamn right she’s not. I wasn’t going to open the gate. But it’s nice to know that she’s not in a hurry to leave. Pres was here. He would’ve driven her away if she asked him to.
Hell, he probably would’ve shot me and taken her away if I’d tried to keep her here against her will, but that worry doesn’t have a chance to take root.I’m not going anywhere.
“I can put it in the microwave for you if you want,” Phoebe offers, watching me forget to eat as thoughts barrel through my head.
“It’s fine, but thanks.” As I take a bite, Phoebe gets up and puts her plate in the microwave.
When the buzzing starts to heat her food, she braces herself against the counter and speaks without turning to look at me. “You said you don’t trust anybodyoutsidethe gates. Does that mean that you trust me? I know I never answer your questions, but you know more about me than anyone else. I’m sure you used that big computer to look into my background. So you probably know more about me than I do. Are you able to trust me?”
My eyes draw a path from her blue, braided hair to her black chunky boots she put on when I pulled her out the door. Her body is the best and worst kind of temptation every single day and there’s something simmering between us just waiting for one of us to act on it. “I don’t know a fucking thing about you, Phoebe. You hid yourself very well. But yes, I trust you.”
The microwave beeps and she reaches for the door, but stops. “I’m trying to trust you too, but I can’t talk about everything. Some of it has to die with me.”
Is she going to confess part of her past to me?My heart pounds against my chest, hoping she will. “Eventually, you’ll have to tell me all of it, but for right now I’d settle forsomething.” The possibility of learning more about her and getting her to open up to me is so alluring that I’ll give anything for it.
Phoebe bows her head, looking down at the counter with her back to me. “I’ve never had anybody looking out for me. I’ve been alone since I was six, even when there were people around. I don’t know how to do this thing you’re asking me to do. I don’t know how to open up the book of Phoebe and start reading it to you. I’ve never talked about this shit before. Nobody ever asked as much as you do.”
“I suppose it will get easier over time.” Realistically, I don’t know how to do it either. I’ve never had to do it. “I’ve always been alone too, so I know what you mean.” I had my sister, and then I didn’t. She was the only one I ever had, but we didn’t talk about our feelings to each other. We had to survive day to day. There wasn’t any time to discuss emotions together.
Phoebe sighs and shakes her lead, looking like she might crumble against the counter. "I feel like I should confess something but I'm afraid that it will change things. It might make you want to kick me out or something, but I don't know that I can keep it a secret anymore. I don't think I can continue without at leastspeaking it, so… I'm going to say it."
I straighten my spine and drop my hands into my lap, preparing myself to give her my full attention. "Okay. Go ahead."
She spins and pins me with a stare. "But first, can you promise to try not to get mad? I know it's going to make you uncomfortable, but I have to say something. Otherwise I'll never know, and i-"
"Phoebe, just say it." I’m sitting on the edge of my fucking seat for these words to come out of her mouth like I have been for a month. I’m ready to devour whatever the fuck she’s going to say. I just want her to use that sweet voice and plump lips to tell me something about her that I don’t already know.
"Promise you won't kick me out for it."
