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I’ve got to go. I can’t get bogged down with emotional attachments to people in this town. I’ll hold out hope that sneaking out the morning after doesn't undo all the work I put in last night to make her more confident. I want the best for her, even if I don’t think that’s me.
I pick up my clothes and redress on my way to the door. I twist the lock on my way out and make sure it engages behind me. I’d never forgive myself if I did something that put her in danger and she got hurt because of it.
My heart feels heavy leaving her like this, without a word. I think she deserves better, but then, that’s why I’m leaving. She does deserve better than me. She may never find that if I stay here and give her hope for a future I don’t expect to share with her. I’m not spending the rest of my fucking life in Albuquerque.
“Jacob!”
Shit again. This girl is going to kill me. I stop where I am and let out a sigh.
“Don’t go.”
I hang my head and stare down at the strings on my shoes. Strings, like the ones Brittany is trying to tie us together with at this very moment. “I can’t stay.”
“But you can’t leave without saying goodbye, without even looking at me.” Her voice is whiny, but I can’t even find it annoying. Brittany reached down deep into my soul and plucked out a man I’ve never let out. I know that if I stay it will all end in heartbreak, but a part of me is begging to give it a shot anyway.
“Don’t get attached to me, Bubbles. I’m not hanging around.” In fact, I should get in my truck and drive North until I hit the border to Canada, find somewhere secluded off the grid to stay. I should never have come here.
Brittany groans, but I don’t hear her take any steps closer. “Turn around, asshole!”
Fuck me for showing her a version of me that I’m not sure actually exists. I put thoughts into her head, said words to her that I don’t want to be tarnished by my refusal to say goodbye. I’ll turn around, look her in the eyes, and tell her I’m not fucking staying. Then I’ll get the fuck out of here without breaking her fragile heart.
“I’m not asking you to stay forever,” she says the second I’ve turned enough to lock eyes with her. Her hair is messy, and she’s barely covered in a baggy t-shirt. Her thighs are working just as hard trying to call me back in as the hurt in her eyes. “I know you’re going to leave in a few months or a year, but does it have to be right now?”
It doesn’t. I don’t have to leave right this second. I can’t leave town yet. I have to work at this company long enough to have some experience under my belt so I can move on to another place, preferably one without familial ties that might want to rope me in and force me to stay.
“So stay for breakfast. Stay until dinner. Stay until I can repay you for those orgasms. Just… don’t fucking leave right now.”
A siren. There were stories of men lured to their deaths by a beautiful voice. I bet those women were gorgeous with thick thighs and big breasts, promising those men food and sex, just like this one is doing to me now. I could fall to my knees and beg her for mercy, and I should, but it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference. This woman has no plans to give me a break, even if she kills me.
“Please?” She widens her eyes and lowers her head, giving me an expression that displays how needy she is for my attention. All I see is ‘she needs me’. “Stay.”
“Fuck, Brittany. Okay. I’ll stay. For… breakfast. But-”
Brittany doesn’t have time to listen to what I’m trying to tell her. She runs the rest of the distance between us and jumps. I have to move at the last second to catch her as she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. The force of her momentum and the muscles in my back flexing to catch her make us hit the door of the truck harder than I planned for.
One of Brittany’s hands reaches behind my back to touch the door, and she tries to wriggle out of my hold. “Sorry,” she mumbles, looking up at me with the real version of that begging face she was faking me out with just a minute ago. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
There are little tears forming in the bottom of her eyes, but I can’t get over how fucking attractive she seems to me in this moment. She was confident enough in herself and in my strength to run and jump into my arms. She knew I could catch her and hold her. And she wasn’t afraid to take the leap.
