“I don’t understand,” I say, but it feels like my mouth is full of cotton balls. “I wanted that baby, Lisa. Please,pleasetell me you’re not serious, that you’re just considering it because I will take custody, if that’s what you want? I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll be better…I’ll try.”
“You don’t have to try. You don’t have to do anything now; I’ve taken care of it.”
“Tell me! Tell me what you want me to fucking do!” I bark.
“I just couldn’t,” she sobs. “I can’t. I’m sorry, f, I’m so sorry. Please believe me, I never meant to hurt you.”
The line goes dead.
I pull it away from my ear and stare at it. I immediately dial her back, but it goes to voicemail.
I run a hand through my hair and call again.
I definitely try and call her a hundred times before throwing my phone against the wall in frustration.
She can’t be serious. She can’t be fucking serious! So, I don’t even get a say in the matter?
That’s it?
Pain sears my chest as I try to stand.
I thought losing her would hurt for a long time, but this may finally cripple me.
I drop to my knees, unable to breathe.
I’ve wanted this for so long, and now it’s gone—all of it.
Her.
Our baby.
Our life together.
None of this means a damn thing.
I’ve never cried, not since my Pa was gunned down when I was twelve, and now it feels like my chest may cave in for good. My cold, dead heart gives way for the final time.
I slam my fist down on the desk as I try to regain control over my breathing.
Instead, it comes out like a howl. I can’t control it, it takes hold, and I just have to let it out.
I sob for the woman I loved, truly loved.
And for the child I’ll never know.
1
MARCO
PRESENT DAY
I haven’t sleptin twenty-four hours, and fatigue is more than starting to show.
I’m at Fortress, our heavily guarded compound where my brothers and I go to sort out business, strategize, and sometimes stay if we’re ever in a lockdown situation, like the one in progress.
Being part of the Boston mafia crime family, it tends to happen more often than not.
The last forty-eight hours have been intense. My older brother and Don of the Familia, Angelo, hasn’t fared much better. Now I’m stuck with a problem.