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“Why are you here?”
Ryan’s back stiffened at my question, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“It’s been weeks since I saw you, weeks since…” I lost steam, fearing tears would start gathering if I continued.
Once Bella was buckled, he cleared the car and gently shut the door. His silhouette in the dark against the sky full of diamonds made him look like a fallen angel. I wanted to drown in him, see if the shadows could swallow us and deliver us somewhere new.
Tucking his hands into his jeans, he dipped his head but made no move to answer me.
The minutes stretched, and with every beat, a new searing pain glided along my sternum.
“Bex, there’s so much we need to talk about…so much I have to say.”
“Then say it,” I bit out, crossing my arms to ward off the chill.
It was cold and I hadn’t put my shoes on, and there was no way I’d do it in front of him; I was too prideful to let him see that I could be bothered by something as trivial as frostbite.
“I didn’t know you guys were going to be here tonight…it seems like you’ve been coming around here a lot.” It wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement, like he was just now realizing we’d built a relationship with his parents without him.
“That bother you?”
“The opposite, actually…” He took a tentative step closer, his arms crossed, head dipped down.
Internally I screamed for him to come even closer, unlock his arms, and sweep me up in them. I wanted him to bury his nose in my neck and tell me to go back inside with him.
“They asked if they could be a part of our lives…regardless of whether you were or not.” The words flew from my mouth, serving as a reminder for my feet to finally move. “Well, it was nice to see you, Ryan. Take care of yourself.” I walked toward the driver side door of my car.
“Bex, come on…” He stepped with me, right on my heels.
I kept my back straight as an arrow, inhaling short but tense breaths of relief.
“Ryan, we’ve done this dance before, and now my feet are bleeding and bruised. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“There are some things I need to say. We need to talk…I wasn’t planning on seeing you tonight, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m happy you’re here or that we need to talk.”
“I can’t,” I whispered, hating my voice.
I hated my weakness, but my walls were crumbling, and I knew too well he’d claim all the broken territory he’d left me with if I stuck around to talk.
I got in the car and slammed the door shut.
