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“If he’d known what I was doing, he wouldn’t have.” He cupped my cheek, eyes pleading with me to understand. “V, this is already hard enough. It’s what I have to do.”
“No. I get Donato means a lot to you, but at what cost? Your freedom? Us? Muriella?”
He dropped his gaze between us. “I’m doing this. And I’m sorry you have to pay for my past, but I can’t figure out another way. I’ve already asked too much of you, but please try to understand. Trust me.”
I flung my arms around his neck. “I’m with you, whatever you have to do.”
He held me tight for a minute, then untangled my arms until we were looking at one another. “You know, I owe you my life too.” I could see how torn he was between the people he loved, and it broke my heart.
“I understand why you did what you did.” His forehead creased in disbelief. “Notthe leaving me part,” I amended, giving him a stern look.
“I’m so sorry it came to this.” And then his voice dropped to a whisper. “You know, I almost did kill him that day.”
“What happened?” I had no idea the relationship with his father had gotten to that point.
“He said awful things about my mother just to provoke me.” His chin dropped to his chest. “She’d had heart problems. I went to the doctor’s appointments with her.” Confusion laced his words as if he still hadn’t come to grips with what he knew. He lifted his eyes, which were glassy. “He killed her.”
“Oh, Daniel.” I pressed his head against my chest and held him to me. “I’m so sorry.”
“She’d probably be dead now anyway because of her condition, but…” he trailed off. So much had been taken from him, and now he was losing his freedom too. “I had my hands around his neck, but I stopped because of her. She wouldn’t have wanted me to be a killer.”
“He deserved it, but you’re right,” I said hoarsely as I fought tears. My God, what else could happen to him?
“After I ran out of there, I called Donato from the subway station and told him what had happened. I didn’t know what else to do,” he mumbled into my chest. “If I hadn’t, he’d have never gone there.”
“Why did you think it was a suicide?” I couldn’t let him blame himself for things that weren’t his fault.
“That’s what the police told me when I got home from Europe. I never looked any further into it. I didn’t care.” His face was red when he sat up, and though his eyes were haunted, they were clear.
“Back up. Europe?”
“Yeah. It was my first overseas trip with Donato. I left believing my father was still alive. I know now that on the day of that last confrontation, while I was waiting for Donato to meet me at the passport office, Donato was making sure my dad would never hurt me again.”
“I know I should be sorry, but I’m not. I’m glad Donato was there for you.”
“Me too.”
We couldn’t seemto stop touching. His hand on my thigh. Mine on his chest. I shifted until I had my legs wrapped around his waist. It was an awkward position, but we made it work. Too much time had passed since we’d been like this. Both of us were aware that there might not be much more.
“Vivian, I didn’t plan this for three months.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said, but when you drew the conclusion, I used it to push you away. The apartment was meant to be an investment. It was a convenient excuse.” He had the decency to look ashamed.
“I didn’t tell M about prison.”
“We’ll do it together when she gets back from the date.”
“How do you know where she is?” I pressed my lips together.
He kissed my forehead. “I know everything.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Daniel
Present
