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Understanding flitted through his eyes. He pointed with his chin at his phone laying on the counter. “I tried to call Mitch. Tell him everything.” He glanced down at the floor before looking back up at me. “I couldn’t do it. Which is stupid, right? He’s already upset. I’m probably making it worse, but somehow I’m hoping Granddaddy can smooth it over.”
“You don’t want to confirm your brother’s fears.”
“How do you tell somebody that there’s a very real possibility they’re about to lose the only place they’ve ever called home?”
“It’s hard,” I said quietly.
His gaze flicked to mine before he looked away and cursed. “You’ve been through that.”
“At least you’ll have your family, even if you lose your home.”
He flinched and turned his back to me. His shoulders hunched over as he clutched the counter. “For all my big talk, I’m an insensitive bastard.”
I rounded the island and placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the contact, his breaths deep and measured. I focused on the fact that he needed me…and maybe I needed him too.
“The stars glowing on my ceiling tell a different story,” I said softly.
“How did you do it? How did you survive losing everything?” He still wouldn’t look at me.
“On the ship, I pretended Mama was with me. That we were on one of our adventures. I refused to think about what I’d left behind.” I rested my back against the counter, just not touching him. “This is going to sound strange, but it was almost like there was a fortress around my mind and my heart so all I could focus on was survival.”
“Did you have any idea where you were going?”
“No. Just enough hope to get me there.” Would I want to make that journey again? Absolutely not. If I had to do it to be where I was now? I’d suffer in the darkness and heat over and over.
“So young and no choice,” he murmured.
“But you do have one,” I said. “Even if you have to start over, we’ll get through it together.”
He lifted his head. “I’ve been looking at this the wrong way, haven’t I?”
“You have to fight for what belongs to you. I don’t mean to just give it up.” I faced him. “But if the worst happens, you’ll survive because your family is what matters. The ranch is part of your bond, but it doesn’t define it. If you had to choose one or the other, what would it be?”
He clenched his jaw. “Them. Every single time.”
I gave him a satisfied nod, even though I’d already known the answer to the question. “Your love for your family is one of the things I like most about you.”
He blinked at me. “It’s a value we share.”
We were different and yet the same in so many ways. As I stared at him, I realized it wasn’t Stone I didn’t trust, but myself. With him, I was safe. I was afraid I would lose him if I let him into my darkness, but he’d proved over and over again that he fought for the things he cared about no matter the cost.
He was scared the truth about the ranch would hurt his family, just as I was that my truth would hurt him. I wanted him to be honest with his family, yet I couldn’t be honest with him, and it was so easy to justify my actions to myself when they weren’t just at all.
But when he found out what had happened to me, we would fundamentally change. It would be the thing between us that would never go away. And I couldn’t live with that.
Stone stretched his arm in front of me, just not touching my hip, silently asking my permission. I appreciated the gesture, that he understood what I needed, but longed for the day when he didn’t have to. Could we ever get to the point where we were both comfortable to do as we pleased?
I leaned very slightly toward him, and his strong hand eased around the curve of my waist. Gently, he guided me so that I was in between his body and the counter. My breath faltered, but not from fear. Being this close to him made me dizzy in the best possible way.
He touched his forehead to mine. “I love you.” His eyes were intense when he pulled away. “Have for a long time. Just wanted you to know.”
I fisted his shirt in my hands as my knees went weak. He loved me? But the part of my heart I constantly kept quiet already knew. The glow-in-the-dark stickers scattered all over my ceiling were hundreds of little confirmations.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
He brushed his thumb across my lips. “Don’t ever forget that.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
