AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He drew in a deep breath and released it. “Best I’ve felt all day.”
“Me too.”
We sat, just being. One track transitioned to the next.
“This song would’ve been better if he’d been going to Texas in his mind.”
I smacked his hand. “You’re obsessed.”
“I know,” he admitted easily.
I attempted to relax, but my mind was whirring. All I could picture was myself standing at the base of the tallest mountain, staring up at it. But I realized I wasn’t there alone. Stone was right next to me.
I shifted off of his lap to the small sliver of cushion beside him. He kept an arm around my shoulders as I twisted. I bent my legs, put my feet on his thigh, and rested my arms on my knees.
“I—I don’t want to tell you about the past. But I don’t want it to be the barrier that keeps us from being completely together.” I sucked in a deep breath and released it. “If you’re ready to listen, I’m ready to do this once and for all.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Stone
I grippedthe armrest of the chair. I’d asked for this, even though I had an inkling of what had happened to her. Truth be told, I didn’t know if I could handle hearing it. But if we were going forward, I had to be able to. For us. Because if we kept this barrier between us, there would be no way around it. And that wasn’t an option.
“Let me turn that off.” I started to stand, but she kept her feet planted on my leg.
“Leave it on.”
I leaned back in the cushion. She stared out the window, the transformation in her already happening. I could already see and feel her pain.
I opened my mouth to tell her we didn’t have to do this. We’d figure out another way. But there was no other way. I snapped it shut and waited until she was ready.
When she spoke, her voice was even, deliberate, devoid of any emotion. I held her foot, desperate for her touch to ground me.
“Before my mother died, I was Papa’s little girl.” She stopped and glanced out the window. Her throat worked as she swallowed. One sentence, and she was already struggling. She looked at me. “I’m okay.”
Then she sucked in a breath and continued. “He made us feel as if our family was the most important thing to him. He was busy, though I had no idea until I was older exactly who he was, but he always made time for us. He had an infectious laugh, and he made Mama smile. In his own way, as much as he was capable, he loved her. He did have a temper and would get irritated when we did wrong, but I never doubted he loved us.”
Her eyes met mine, and anxiety attacked me from all sides as she continued. “When Mama died, he seemed to lose his mind. Her death was a brutal message to him. He blamed himself, and rightly so. He must have known there was a threat, because right before she was taken, Papa became more insistent we stay at the compound. I heard them arguing. Mama was strong-willed and never afraid of him. She told him he couldn’t keep us prisoners, that we had a right to see the world. Until then, it had never occurred to me that we never left our property. We had everything we needed at home.”
She adjusted, digging her foot into my leg. I gave it a gentle squeeze of encouragement as she wove deeper back in time.
“There was a market in the town not too far from the compound, where local people brought fruits and vegetables they’d grown, things they’d made, goods to trade. Mama snuck me and my brother out through a hole in the fence on the back boundary.” She covered her mouth with her hand.
When she removed it and spoke again, her voice wobbled. “They got her while she was buying a jar of honey. No one helped her, no matter how she screamed and fought. My brother and I tried to get to her, but we were too small and outnumbered. The last time I saw her, she looked into my eyes and told me she loved me. She knew she’d made a mistake.” She swallowed hard, blinking rapidly, refusing to let the tears fall. “Sometimes it wakes me up. I can see her eyes so clearly, can hear her telling me she loved me before she disappeared into the back of that car.”
Her pain was right up front for me to see. My chest ached for the little girl who’d watched her mother be kidnapped. The loss was something she’d never put behind her, and who could have? “They didn’t take my brother and me. Even though I was a drug lord’s daughter, I didn’t know the rules. My brother later told me you weren’t to touch children. Wives were usually off limits too, so I don’t know why they took her, but that doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. She’s gone, and I’ll never have her back.”
The silence stretched between us, and I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t think of a damn thing that would be appropriate. If I’d seen someone kidnap my mother, and found out later they’d killed her, I couldn’t imagine what kind of person I’d have become.
“When Mama didn’t come home, I shrank into myself. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, do my schoolwork, play. I missed her terribly. During that time, Papa drank heavily, and after he avenged her death, it got worse.” She paused, took in a sharp breath. I braced myself for the words I knew without a doubt would hurt both of us.
”There was a storm one night—lightning so bright it lit up the rooms inside the house, thunder booming so loud it rattled its bones.” She shuddered. “I was scared. The electricity went out, and I searched for my brother. Unfortunately, I found my father. He was soaked with rain, blood all over his hands, his clothes, his face. He was holding a severed hand with a wedding band on it, and he looked absolutely deranged. I was afraid of him for the first time in my life. He shoved that hand in his pocket, grabbed my wrist, and dragged me upstairs to his room. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew I was in trouble.” She dropped her forehead to her arms. “I need a minute.”
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
I rubbed her back because I had to touch her. I was nauseous, certain now that my imagination had not been working overtime. Already, I felt the ugliness and prayed I could erase it for her.
She sat up, her face red, eyes haunted.
