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“No. Though I imagine they’d have been waiting on me.”
He gripped the doorframe. “You shouldn’t have to live like this.”
“But it’s what I’ve got.” I set the tablet on my desk. “I’d gotten pretty good at navigating through the shark-infested waters. I’m sure it seems like this rules my life, but up until recently, it hasn’t been at the forefront.”
“And now it is because of me.”
I tucked my legs up under me. “I never really let myself consider the possibility of a relationship before, of growing my family. Now that I am, it’s pushed a lot to the surface.”
“I only wanted to help you heal.” The anguish in his voice was more than I could bear.
“My default reaction seems to be to push you away, to find any excuse to believe this won’t work.” I leaned forward, planting my elbows on the glass surface. “Someone who’s pretty wise pointed out that in a relationship there are two people to work things out. I’ve just gotten used to carrying this on my own.”
“I can’t quit. I hate you think I’d want to.”
“The older we get, the harder it is to accept change.” I rested my chin in my hands. “I’ve not handled this well.”
“You’re the strongest person I know.”
“I’m talking about us.” He sagged against the doorframe. “I need to take a breath here. Everything is happening so fast.”
His face blanched. “You’re done?”
“No. I—I haven’t fully trusted you. Myself either. I need to figure out if I’m capable of letting you be my partner, if I can accept you’ll be my rock like you were yesterday. Because you were, you know.”
“Did you think I’d take off?” He balled his fists at his sides, an edge in his voice.
“I think a little part of me wanted you to so I’d be right. But most of me is grateful.”
He nodded once, but his hurt was palpable.
“It was wrong of me to try to decide for you what you can handle. I’m sorry for that.” I looked at the pictures on my desk. “I have to figure out if it’s a habit I can let you help me break.” I gave him a sad smile.
He pressed his lips together. “Think a few days is long enough?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly.
“I woke up because Zegas called. He’s arranged for an interview tomorrow in Dallas. Thinks it’s time for me to show my face and remind everybody of the good ol’ boy I am,” he said wryly.
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I’ll leave this afternoon after I finish my scenes. I have a couple of days off, so it worked out. Figured I’d head to the ranch after the interview.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants. “I thought you might want to go with me, but it sounds like you need to stick around here.”
I nodded, though part of me was disappointed. I had asked for time, and yet I didn’t want him to leave. What a mess I was.
“How long will you be gone?” The words came out in a needy mass.
“I’ve got to be back by Tuesday, unless they screw up the schedule again.”
I managed a smile, though I felt empty, and he wasn’t even gone yet. “Then I guess I’ll see you on Monday night.”
“I’d like to take you out on our third date Sunday week. Not because you owe me, but because you want to.”
“Okay.” I pushed back from the desk, erasing the distance between us. Once I stood before him, I tilted my head back. He was so much taller than me, yet he didn’t make me feel small. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I wish it hadn’t happened, but I’m so glad you were here.”
Fresh linen and sunshine filled my nose, a soothing balm.
“We’re gonna make it, darlin’. Just have a little faith.”
