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“None of it matters now. He can barely look at me.”
“We’ll just have to see how hard he’s willing to fight for you, but honey, if you want him back, go get him. You ain’t got to wait on him to come to you.”
“But he should be the one to apologize,” I said.
“You have to decide what’s more important. Getting him back or your pride.” She drank more coffee. “Men always err on the side of pride, so you may be waiting on him a long damn time.”
It was true I could’ve handled things better before I left, but it was too late to take it back now. Could he ever forgive me even if I asked him to?
I held the blanket even more tightly around me. What if he’d dated other girls while I was gone? The thought didn’t sit well, though he’d had the right because I’d given it to him. I squeezed my eyes shut to block out the pain.
“You just gonna keep sittin’ here stewing?”
I popped my lids open. “I can’t go over there now. It’s not even daylight.” And I’m scared. What if he rejects me? What if he doesn’t love me anymore?
“They run a farm. They’re up.”
Still I didn’t move from the chair. It was useless. Our first big test in the relationship, and we’d failed. Maybe we weren’t as solid as I’d thought. In the grand scheme of things, we were still really young. My feelings for Mitch felt like a lot more than puppy love, but maybe that was because I didn’t know better.
He’s your soulmate.
My heart broke through all the excuses my pride came up with to keep me from going to Mitch and finally listened to Nana. I wasn’t an overly romantic kind of girl, but he made me feel like no one ever had. Deep down, I knew no one else ever would.
I pushed out of the rocking chair and kissed Nana on the cheek. “Wish me luck.”
* * *
Lights glowedfrom the first floor of the old farmhouse as I pulled up. On a deep breath, I cut the engine. My hand trembled as I took the key from the ignition. This was crazy. Who in their right mind would show up to their ex-boyfriend’s house at six in the morning with no plan at all? What if he didn’t want to see me? What if I couldn’t speak?
No. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ready. I jammed the key back in the ignition. The porch lights flipped on just before the front door of the house burst open. Mrs. Jacobs appeared, squinting before she waved in recognition.
Busted.
Reluctantly, I shoved open the door of my Accord.
“I thought I heard a car out here,” she said, standing at the top of the steps. “He’s out in the barn. But if you want breakfast first, come on inside.”
Food…ugh.
“Thank you, ma’am. I’ll just go look for Mitch.”
“Come through the house.” She held open the door for me, and I was immediately assaulted with memories of study sessions, prom dates, and suppers in this house.
Right by the staircase was the latest family portrait, one I’d been included in at their insistence. We’d had a barbecue out back that day. I’d had this feeling Mitch was going to ask me to marry him, but he hadn’t.
“You sure you don’t want something to eat?” Mrs. Jacobs asked as I followed her into the kitchen.
“I—I’m not hungry.”
Her smile was sympathetic. “We’re glad you’re home, Juliana. All of us missed you while you were away.”
“I missed you too.” My teeth sank into my lower lip. “Even Mulaney.”
She laughed. “That girl grows on you after a while.” Pure affection for her daughter threaded her voice. “If you don’t find Mitch in the barn, check the pasture just behind it.”
“All that muscle,and I still do more work than y’all.”
I’d hoped Mitch would be alone, but that was too much to ask for. I stepped into the barn, nerves spiking, as Mulaney was needling her brothers as usual. She didn’t like me, and her brash way intimidated me a little bit…ok, a lot.
