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“Just a few seconds ago, you said he had your blessing,” I argued.
“He does, but that doesn’t matter if you don’t want to be married to him. You don’t have to tell him to his face. Just serve him the divorce papers.”
I stumbled as Mitch led me forward. Every time I’d given Easton a set of annulment papers, I’d been the one to deliver them, never mind I’d been running like hell from him pretty much since we’d said I do.
“I have a good lawyer,” Stone said. “Can’t promise Easton won’t get something of yours, but you’ll keep most of it.”
A throbbing began in my temples. Every step down the stairwell beat harder until my head felt like a drumline was in my skull.
Divorce.
Somehow over the months, I’d gotten used to this strange dance we were tangled in. I’d demand we fix our mistake. He’d refuse. My brothers had given me a solution to the problem I couldn’t make go away myself, but they were right about one thing: I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to. And if I’d really wanted to be untangled from Easton, it sure as hell wouldn’t have taken me seven months to do it.
I looked between Mitch and Stone. Only I knew the truth about my feelings for Easton. Up until now, they hadn’t mattered. The bottom line was I couldn’t have him. But what if my stubborn subconscious had known what I refused to accept?
I didn’t want to let Easton Carter go.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Easton
I’ve got cancer.
I woke with a start and found myself in the chair I must have dozed off in by the window in Drew’s suite.
And it doesn’t look good.
I smashed the heel of my hand into my forehead, attempting to erase the day my mother told me her diagnosis from my mind. She hadn’t cried. She hadn’t looked scared. If anything, she’d been determined.
About nine months ago the doctors had given her six months at best. She’d proven them and the disease wrong, showed them she wouldn’t go quietly and without a hell of a fight.
I was the one who’d fallen apart at the news. It hadn’t been fair to her, but I’d cried with my head in her lap, terrified for what she had to face. Scared shitless for what life would be like without her in it. She’d stroked my hair and promised she wouldn’t go easily.
That moment had changed me.
Our family had always been close, but over the years I’d taken that for granted. I’d taken time for granted. Somehow, I was forty-one and wasn’t really sure how that had happened. The company had been my life, and that’s what I’d wanted. I never thought much beyond running and growing Carter Energy. It had been my purpose, what gave me happiness. I figured there would be time later for other things.
Learning Mama’s life would be cut short suddenly had me thinking about my own. What did I want beyond work? What were the things I’d put off because I thought there’d be time down the road?
Children.
I’d buried my desire for them and focused on what was right in front of me. Time had always been short, yet somehow I’d believed there’d be more. Just get past this deal. Once we’re through this slump. After this year is through.
Kids weren’t the only thing I’d denied myself. Those words I’d never wanted to hear had awoken a sleeping giant. I’d finally acknowledged I wanted more with Mulaney, but I’d squandered the months of our marriage without showing her what our life together could be. Only a fool would believe a wedding night was enough. It had been for me, but I hadn’t hidden from my feelings.
The power of what had happened between us couldn’t have been one-sided, yet when it came to her, I wore rose-colored glasses. At this point, it didn’t matter anymore. I’d given her more than enough time to come around. I had to do what was best for me.
I reached for the business card on the nightstand and ran my thumb around the worn edges. The cardboard rectangle had been in my wallet since shortly after Mama had delivered her news. Once the initial shock wore off, it was as if switches flipped, lighting places in me I’d kept dark for a long time.
This was something I could do for me and hopefully there was enough time to give my mother.
Unfortunately, two in the morning was too early to move forward. I stretched and stood stiffly from the chair. Light from the living room filtered under the door.
Drew sat on the sofa, hair sticking up straight, his laptop in front of him.
“No. No. No. No.” He stabbed at the keys, muttering the word like a curse.
“Problem?”
