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Over the years, I'd turned off the parts of me attracted to the opposite sex. Between work and keeping up with a live-wire child, there wasn't anything left for that kind of stuff. Gabriel deserved all my attention, and I couldn't have a parade of men coming in and going out of our lives. My son needed stability, and we had that because of the structure I'd created. I didn't consider the lack of dating a sacrifice. There was only one man I needed, and he was just under four feet tall.
Not well over six feet, bulked up with muscle, and a voice that made my thighs clench. My need for an orgasm hadn't been this strong since, well, I couldn't remember a time. But now I needed it. Badly.
I slid my hand down my stomach and under my silk panties. My skin was smooth. I glided my fingers between my slit, already slick with wet heat. I lifted my hips off the bed, stroking the center folds. Gathering wetness, I dragged my finger to my clit, a sharp gasp escaping me at the sting of my touch. I was already swollen, primed, and ready for pleasure.
My lids shut, the black behind them filling with the handsome features of the man who had brought on this torrent of desire. His eyes were dark and lust-filled as I imagined him looking at me, ready to make me his. To show me exactly what it was like for a man to bring a woman pure ecstasy. A shiver rolled through me.
I couldn't wait any longer.
I pushed my middle finger inside me, the silky walls sucking it in. I'd always preferred the touch of my fingers to a vibrator, a good thing since I had a curious little man who was into everything. That was a device I didn't want to explain. My velvety insides were slick and wet and warm, smoother than anything I could think of. If it felt this good around my finger, I could only imagine what it did for a cock. No wonder men lost their minds over women.
With my other hand, I pressed the middle and ring finger against my clit, working back and forth and from side to side. Another finger pumped inside me, creating friction. I swelled, my pace becoming more fervent as my hands were no longer my own, but those of the hulk of a man who refused to leave my mind.
I vibrated my fingers against my clit with increasing speed. I was so close already, my hands feverish as I imagined Carlos watching me touch myself in awe.Show me how you make yourself come.His voice was a caress against my ear, and though it wasn't real, I felt it as though it was. And that was my undoing.
“Carlos,” I whispered as I convulsed around my finger, an intense orgasm washing over me. My breath came in short gasps as I rubbed small circles around my now sensitive bud, drawing out the feeling.
Finally spent, I sank into the mattress. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d touched myself. Nothing inspired desire . . . untilhim.
Tonight, I craved something my fingers weren't capable of doing. I wanted to feel a man inside me, be covered by a body bigger than my own, and feel the skin of someone else against mine. Not just any man, but Carlos.
I groaned and covered my face with a pillow. Why was I always attracted to the wrong kind of man? Why couldn't I like someone safe? Someone who the most dangerous thing they ever did was buy a red car instead of a mundane gray one. Someone whose most rebellious act was not brushing his teeth before bed.
Carlos might as well have been named Risky. The second I'd looked into his eyes, I'd seen danger. Something in those dark pools said he'd not only seen the ugliness this world could bring, but he'd lived it.
He was the kind of man a woman could have for one night but never anything more. And that was too dangerous for someone like me. If I had him once, I'd only want more. Look but don't touch would be my new mantra. Avoiding him altogether would be difficult, seeing as Muriella was caring for Gabriel while I was at work, but I would try my best. Soon enough, he'd go back to wherever he came from. Then I'd be able to breathe normally again.
Chapter Nine
Carlos
She isn't goingto show.
I'd put my sister up to inviting Holly and Gabriel over for pizza. Muriella's apartment was as packed with people as it had been yesterday when I’d arrived. While I liked the Jacobs clan well enough, none of them were the two faces I wanted to see.
I checked my watch. It was ten after six. They weren't coming.
“You keep staring at the front door like you're trying to burn a hole in it,” Muriella said, setting up a pizza buffet. She'd made all kinds, spending most of the day in here just like our mama. She loved the help she got from the other women and the samples the men snagged when they passed through the kitchen.
“I'm not staring,” I said, motioning for her to get out of the way after she opened the oven door. She handed me the oven mitts, and I retrieved three more pizzas from inside and placed them on the island.
“Yes, you are.” Muriella saw right through my drivel, but I refused to admit it. She placed a small hand on my shoulder. “Why don't you go get them?” she suggested, and I beamed at her with a why-didn't-I-think-of-that-and-you're-a-genius grin.
I tore off the oven mitts and tossed them on the counter. She snorted at my haste. I was halfway to the front door when the bell rang.Be cool, Calderón.I checked the peep hole to see who was on the other side.
“I thought you said six o'clock sharp,” I said, my eyes locking on Holly's when I opened the door.
“How'd you get to the door so fast?” Gabriel asked.
“I was on my way to come and get you.”
“Gabriel, go ask Miss Muriella where you can wash your hands,” she said, and he skipped off in search of my sister. Holly had on jeans and a knit sweater, the collar circling the base of her delicate neck. A gold chain glinted, and I was curious as to why she kept it tucked under her clothes.
“I know you put your sister up to this. How was I supposed to say no when Gabriel adores her?” Holly looked furious.
“Why are you so angry?” I asked, and her frown deepened.
“Thanks to you, Gabriel has been obsessed with puppies all day long. I can't get him one, and you've planted the seed that's already growing like kudzu,” she accused, her mouth twitching in frustration.
