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“I'm not just talking about going sightseeing. This—tonight—it would be so easy for Gabriel to get used to that.” Guilt flashed across her face.
“What about you? Could you get used to it?”
“Yes, but I know nothing about you, and I don't take risks when it comes to my son. He's such a gift.”
I reached for her hands, twining our fingers together. “I won't lie, Beauty. I don't know anything about children and even less about relationships, but I do know when I'm with the two of you, something in here”—I pointed at my chest—“feels alive. I've been a dead man walking for a very long time.”
“My experiences with relationships aren't very good either,” she confessed, and I immediately had the urge to severely punish whoever had hurt her.
I brushed her cheek with my knuckles, our hands still joined. It helped to quiet the demons that threatened to take over. “I'm going to do everything in my power to change that.”
She wanted to believe me, but life had made her wary. “Tell me why you're here. In New York, I mean. Because I don't think you’re being completely honest.”
“To get my sister back. I think she might be my only hope.”
Chapter Fifteen
Holly
“How didyou lose her to begin with?”
He drew in a long breath. “I lost her by circumstance.”
I’d expected him to evade my questions, but Carlos surprised me. There was an air of vulnerability about him that made me want to hold him and stopped me from pressing further. I didn't need anyone to take care of me, but when he was around, I felt like I could relax a little. I didn't have to constantly look over my shoulder or worry about Gabriel. Where I came from, when someone did you a favor, you owed them, and theywouldget paid. It was hard for me to grasp anyone doing something out of the kindness of their heart. Everybody wanted something, but Mulaney, and all the people she'd introduced me to in the past few days, didn't seem to. They'd all been so nice, treating Gabriel like a little prince. My experience with men was that they always walked away. Carlos would be no different. I could take it, but Gabriel didn't deserve that kind of heartbreak.
There was another side to the coin. The game of what-if.What ifhe was different?What ifI could finally fill the void in my son's life? It wasn't so bad while he was little, but eventually, he'd need a man to teach him the things I couldn't. I hadn't realized how hungry we both were for that missing person. Needs I'd ignored for too long had resurfaced with a vengeance. Gabriel had latched on to Carlos because he needed to be around a man. Just be one of the guys. Even at a young age, it was ingrained in him. Women needed girl time. Men needed guy time. And children needed both.
When he showed up unannounced with dinner and gave Gabriel the cowboy, something changed in me. I’d decided to give him a chance. And that scared me.
I tried to untangle my fingers from his, but he refused to let go. Something about that made me like him even more. I didn’t want a man who was easily deterred.
“I’m sorry you were separated,” I finally said, understanding on some level. Although my brother was in my life, most of the time it was as if he wasn’t . . . unless he needed something.
“It’s in the past.” His pained tone told me it was still very much in the present.
The more he talked, the more I wanted to know about him, and that was a very dangerous thing. What had happened to him that put the haunted look in his eyes? Why did he rarely smile? Who had hurt him?
“Is the rest of your family still in Nicaragua?” I settled on a neutral question instead of blurting out things that were none of my business.
I didn’t think it was possible for his eyes to get any darker, but they did. “Some, but I have no contact with them. Muriella is the only one who matters.”
“An ex-wife?” I wanted to clap my hand over my mouth for being so nosy. Instead, I held my ground and kept eye contact.
A hint of amusement touched his mouth. “No wife or ex.”
Pressure I didn’t realize had built in my chest released. I didn’t believe he’d bring us dinner if he was attached, but it was a relief to know he was available. Wait. No. His relationship status didn’t matter . . . not really.
His rubbed his thumb across the top of my hand. The pad was rough yet soothing. I felt the seemingly insignificant touch all the way to my toes. It had been so long since I’d had any kind of physical contact with the opposite sex, but none had ever made me feel even a fraction of what Carlos did.
“You’re staring,” he said.
Snapping my gaze to his, I realized he was right. I’d been watching him touch me as if I’d never seen such a thing.
“That feels nice,” I admitted.
“I’d hoped it was better than that,” he teased, keeping up the steady rhythm.
“It’s been a long time.” I squeezed my eyes shut. Why did I keep blurting out whatever was on my mind?
