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“Is it because of me you can't come back?”
I held him at arm’s length, horrified at the question. “Why would you think that? Of course that's not why.”
“I heard Mama say she doesn't take risks with me.” Holly gasped. Neither of us had realized he was listening the other night.
“She doesn't, and that's why she's the best mama in the whole world,” I assured him. “I want you to promise me something. Can you do that?” He nodded. “Whatever your mom tells you, you trust that. Okay?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And Gabriel? You are not the problem. It's me. You haven't done a thing wrong. Don't forget that.” I stared into his eyes, imploring him to hear me.
“I thought you'd still come pick me up from school.” I wanted to tell him I'd been there every single day, so I leaned in close. “Are you sure I haven't been there?” I asked. He nodded, certain. “Did you think I'd forgotten about you?” He nodded again, and I twisted in pain. “Never. You and your mom are all I think about. But it's better for the two of you if I stay away right now. I don't like it, but that's how it has to be.”
“I already told my teacher you would come with Mama to the open house at school. So you could see what we're doing.” His head hung, and I couldn't stand letting him down.
“Gabriel, when did you do that?” Holly asked, surprised.
“Last week. Everybody else has a daddy coming, and I wanted to have one too.”
The elevator doors opened to the lobby, and Holly staggered out, face ashen. She struggled with guilt over that very thing. It was a problem she'd known she'd have to deal with eventually, but I didn’t think she was expecting it so soon. I couldn't help but feel it was partially my fault. At the same time, I felt a sense of pride he’d wantedmeat the school as his papa. I wanted that too.
Slowly rising to my full height, I was pleased when Gabriel led me out of the elevator. Was I being selfish, knowing this was leading him on?
“Baby, tell Carlos goodbye,” Holly said hoarsely.
“But he could come with us for cupcakes.” Gabriel refused to budge.
“I’m sure he has things to do.” Holly shot a pleading look at me, and I felt like I was being stretched apart at the seams.
“I'm sorry, Gabriel. I wish I could go. Will you eat a chocolate one for me?” Sorry didn't begin to cover how I felt, especially when his face fell in disappointment.
He collected himself like a man ten times his age, putting up a brave front. “Sure. Will you come to the thing at school?”
“Gabriel, tell Carlos goodbye,” Holly repeated.
“I'm sorry I can't be there for you, Gabriel. I—” Damn it. A lump formed in my throat. I was blatantly lying to the boy. Icouldbe there for him. “Take care of your mama, okay?” That was all I could think of to say, and it wasn't good enough.Ishould be the one taking care of them.Notputting it on Gabriel's shoulders.
“I will,” he promised. Gabriel was almost back to his mother when he turned and ran toward me, throwing his arms around me.
“I love you, Gabriel,” I whispered against his hair, hugging him fiercely. I'd let him down, and he was still affectionate when he could have stomped away. I’d never loved a child before, hadn’t known I ever would. But what I’d said was true. He was incredible.
“Love you too, Mr. Carlos,” he whispered back.
My heart broke.
Chapter Forty
Holly
“We’re on our way back.”
I sagged into the sofa. At almost one o'clock in the afternoon, I was in my sweatpants, a T-shirt, and hadn't showered yet. Mulaney had said I could work from home when I needed, and I was taking advantage of that.
“I’m glad Miss Ruby is well enough for you to leave her.” This was the news I’d been waiting for.
“She’s feeling better all right, dishing out orders and refusing to obey any,” she muttered, but the tension that had been in her voice the last week or so had diminished. “I just got word of a mandatory meeting at three. You’ve been cleared to go in my place.”
“Three?” I asked, my voice wobbling in panic. Who would pick up Gabriel from school?
