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“How do we find out about taking care of a dog?” he asked, all businesslike.
I finished chewing and swallowed. “Google?”
“That's where I'd start,” Daniel suggested, and Gabriel wasted no time swiping his finger across the screen, then tapping the app for the internet.
“Can you help me? I'm still learning to spell,” Gabriel informed me earnestly, offering the tablet to me. “I got it to Google.”
“We'll do it together.”
Though it took a little longer than if I'd typed it myself, we had a list of links on how to housetrain a puppy in only a few minutes, and Gabriel was proud because he'd done it mostly himself. Weirdly, that made me proud too.
The second Holly came into the living room with my glass of tea, I sensed it. She frowned when she saw Gabriel practically attached to my hip, now helping himself to my chips as he stared at the screen he was holding between us.
“Thank you,” I said when she placed the cup on the end table beside me.
“Mama, I think we need a crate,” Gabriel said.
A little growl escaped her, aimed in my direction. “If we were getting a puppy, then yes, that would be a good thing to have. A yard would be ideal too.” Her words had no bite whatsoever, only the logic mothers seemed to possess.
“Do we have to have a yard?” he asked me, panicked.
“Many people have dogs who don't have a yard. There's probably a park close by,” I said in reassurance.
“Rockefeller Park isn't too far,” Daniel offered.
“We'll take you one day,” Stone volunteered before looking over at Holly. “If it's okay with your mom.”
“Can I, Mama? Please?”
“When it gets a little warmer.”
“Okay.” Gabriel struck me as an agreeable child. He seemed to absorb everything around him. “Mr. Carlos, how much do we feed a puppy?” He was back to the most important task at hand.
“Let's see if we can find out.”
Holly chewed on one corner of her lip. If her son hadn't been sitting here, I knew I'd be getting an earful. And maybe I was overstepping. I didn't want to lead the kid on, get his hopes up for a dog, but for the first time in a long time, I felt . . . joy. As though spending time researching something with this little boy was filling a very empty void in my heart. Strange.
Gabriel thumbed through web pages, and Holly leaned over to my ear that was opposite her son. “Wrap it up,” she ordered.
“Let's look at this until halftime is over, and then we'll watch the game. Sound like a plan?” This seemed to placate both Holly and Gabriel. I didn't want her to be upset with me, another novel feeling. I'd quit giving a fuck when I'd put Muriella on her path to freedom, so finding I did now gave me pause.
When Holly left the room, I wanted her to come back—to sit on the other side of Gabriel and look at puppy training with us—but I shook it off. Who did I think I was? Part of their family?
Suddenly, I wanted to distance myself from this kid, but I couldn't. In less than half an hour, he'd sucked me in, so I found myself teaching him about football right along with the other men in the room. It was odd seeing things through his eyes. He seemed excited to be hanging around with the guys, cheering when we did and booing at the bad calls.
Gabriel saw a big world out there, full of possibility, so much to see and do and learn. I saw the world as an ugly place, though I'd made it a speck brighter only hours ago. There was so much nastiness in my life that I'd almost forgotten there was anything good left in it. Gabriel was good. I'd been like him once upon a time, innocent and upbeat. If there was something I could do to keep him that way, I wanted to. The thought of him seeing any of the shit I had made me fiercely irate. Nobody should be subjected to that. Not him. Not Holly. Not my sister.
“Gabriel,” Holly said, appearing when the football game was nearly over.
“Hi, Mama.”
“We need to go, baby.”
“There's only a few minutes left. Can't y'all stay until then?” Stone asked, giving Holly wide eyes. She softened, and though it was innocent, I wondered how long she’d known Stone to feel that comfortable around him. She was so . . . trusting. Was that how all American women were?
“Watch with us, Mama.” Gabriel scooted toward me, making room for Holly to sit between him and Daniel.
“All right,” she relented, her legs brushing mine as she squeezed between the sofa and the coffee table. Her back stiffened, but otherwise, she didn't acknowledge the contact.
