AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“May I?” Dad motioned to a chair, clinging to Blake.
“You don’t have to ask.” I held up a water, and he shook his head.
“I miss you too.” He locked me in his gaze. Lines creased around his eyes and mouth. He looked older than the last time I’d seen him.
“You hurt me.”
“Sweetheart, you hurt me too.” His voice was gentle, holding every bit of the emotion he professed. He glanced down and ruffled Blake’s hair. “It’s wrong, but I was—I don’t know any other way to put it than gutted when I found out you’d been talking to her.”
“I—”
He held up his hand. “I never wanted to stand in the way of any relationship you wanted. She’s your mother. What kind of father would I be if I did that?” He kissed Blake’s head again. “But I didn’t want her to hurt you the way she did me.”
“You were right.”
A flash of shock streaked across his face, but he quickly masked it. “I understand why you kept it from me. I’ve never handled anything well when it came to her.”
“You loved her. It’s the same thing as Jack, except maybe worse. There’s always the possibility of getting back together. When it’s over, it’s impossible to accept, but I know he’s not coming back.” The plastic bottle crinkled under my grip, this the first time I realized maybe he did understand what I was going through. I’d been so sure none of them did.
He blinked at me. “No, baby. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through.”
“I should’ve talked to you about it. But I was so surprised when she showed up, and I got sucked in.” I’d been thrilled and furious all at once. After all those years, I’d finally had a piece of my life I thought had been missing.
“She came to you?”
“Yeah. Showed up out of the blue one day when I really needed someone. Jack was about to be deployed. Then he was gone. She was there. And then our baby—” I pressed the heel of my hand into my eye.
“I wish I’d have known about the baby,” Dad said with anguish. “I hate you went through that without us.”
“She was there. Was exactly what I wanted out of a mother.” My heart hurt. “I should’ve told you, but it hurt so much. I wasn’t very far along. I’d just gotten used to the idea of a person inside of me.” I touched my stomach. “I don’t even know if the baby was a boy or a girl.”
He reached out for my hand. I took it. I hadn’t needed her. My father. That’s who should’ve been there. But I’d been too confused and emotional to see that.
“You’ve lost so much,” he choked out. “You aren’t alone.”
“I know, Dad.” And I did.
He released my hand and slumped in his chair. “I can’t figure out what she wants. None of it makes sense.”
Neither of us wanted to dwell on the family member we’d never know. I didn’t particularly want to talk about my mother anymore, but not as much as I didn’t want to discuss the miscarriage.
“I’ve learned the hard way it isn’t because she’s sorry for leaving us.”
“No.”
“What she did to Holt and Andrew? I’ll never forgive her for that.”
“I’m sorry I blamed you for her showing up at the wedding. It’s no excuse, but my head wasn’t in the right place.”
That felt good to hear.
“How long have you been talking to her?”
“I wouldn’t really call it that. She just showed up again, exactly the way she did to you. The right words came out of her mouth and the part of me that never let her go held on to that with a death grip.”
“That’s not like you.”
“I’m not perfect.”
