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“It’s where I have to.”
I looked away. “Can I see Blake?”
“He’s not your responsibility.”
I jerked my gaze to her. “This has nothing to do with obligation. He’s my buddy. I missed him today.”
She took a step back at the venom in my voice.
“Court not go well today?”
“Not great. But I won.”
“What happened?”
“I was distracted. Somebody else’s shit didn’t seem so important when I’m a dad now.”
Her face softened, and she opened the door a little wider. “He’s in the kitchen.”
“I thought he was asleep,” I said as I moved inside.
She shrugged with zero remorse for fibbing. I charged down the narrow hall, this sense of relief washing over me as soon as my eyes landed on Blake in his chair.
“Hey.” I closed my eyes, held him close. “I didn’t do too good without my partner today.”
“How. Ass.”
I laughed. “Not you too. I know your mom thinks I am, but I thought you and me were pals.”
Marlow leaned against the doorframe, arms over her stomach.
“I think Mommy wants a kiss. Then you and I have things to discuss. Guy stuff.”
I pressed my finger to her soft skin. Blake kissed her cheek. I did the same.
“Any chance you’re cooking dinner?” I beamed at her.
She slapped my arm. “That’s why you’re really here.”
“Maybe.”
I sauntered back down the hall toward the living room. I wandered along the edges, studying the life she’d had with Jack. They’d been married about ten years before she was pregnant with Blake, but how much of that time had he been present? How much had he lived on the other side of the world on missions? From the bits and pieces I’d gathered from Andrew and witnessed myself, it was a lot.
I shouldn’t feel anger toward Jack Linley, but it was hard not to when Marlow did. Probably for different reasons. But she’d loved him. Still did.
I touched a wooden frame. Wicked had ridden a Ferris wheel? Eaten cotton candy? Her face was coated with the sticky stuff in the photo. There was nothing but utter and magnificent joy in her expression. That smile. It was hard to believe that was Marlow. I’d never once seen her laugh like that.
Fuck. I couldn’t compete with this guy. Not when she still loved him, wished he was here.
What was I doing? Trying to take his family? Take his place?
“Little dude, you know I love you, but I’m not not sure I know how to stand in for another man. To be . . . your dad.” I looked down into his cherub-like face. He was sweet. Fun. Like Marlow in that photo. What would our baby look like? Would it be obvious they were siblings? “Gonna do my best, but I don’t want to be a substitute. You want me here, it’s gotta be for me.”
“Love.”
My lips parted. “What did you say?”
“Love,” he repeated.
