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“Teague . . .”
“I’ve been up since four and get to do it all over again tomorrow.” I would’ve stood up for emphasis but didn’t want to knock my sister off the arm.
“Why didn’t you bunk at the firehouse?” Her gaze narrowed.
For someone who wasn’t around much, she sure knew a whole lot about how my schedule worked. I guessed I’d mentioned it in passing when we talked that I slept at the fire station a lot.
“Captain cut my hours. Lucky me, I get to sleep in a comfortable bed.” I meant that. Especially tonight. I couldn’t handle being around the guys. I needed to process . . . without all the prying eyes.
“Need me to wake you up in the morning?”
“I’ll set an alarm.” I pointed to my phone.
Instead of getting up, Beau clamped down on my leg. “Don’t let this eat at you. He wouldn’t want that.”
I remained still. No way would I make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.
* * *
Three hours later,I hadn’t moved from the chair.
My mind spun out of control. The fire. The collapse. The heat. The weight.
Had I done the right thing insisting we stay together that night? If I’d let him go upstairs alone, would he have avoided the collapsed floor or gone down with it?
The only way for certain Cassano would still be alive was if that fire had never happened . . . or we’d stayed outside.
But that wasn’t what we’d committed to do.
And I wouldn’t have found Ash. Or Pepper.
Was Ash okay? Giving her my scarf seemed like a cop-out. I should be there for her . . . for all of them.
Pepper had so much responsibility on her hands.
And I needed her too.
I spun my phone in my hand. It was after eleven. I shouldn’t wake her. Shouldn’t risk Grey Paws.
Once again, my father had taken away something else I could control in my life. I could be there for Ash, for Pepper. She could use the help.Iwanted to be the one to do that for her.
Instead, I’d made a mess of things.
My father would continue to have control as long as I let him.
I rose, stiff from sitting so long. Sleep wasn’t coming, but a shower would be nice.
I tossed my phone on the bathroom counter. As I hung a towel on the rack, the phone mounted on the wall by the toilet was like a beacon.
How many times had I made fun of my brother for putting telephones in the bathrooms?
I closed the lid on the toilet, looked up the number to Grey Paws, and blocked the caller ID before I dialed.
Riiing.
It was late.
Riiing.
