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Then he moved to the closet, tossing a bag and some shoes out. He squatted and reached deep. When his arm reappeared, there was a worn velvet watch box in his hand. He opened it, lifted the white interior, and hurled it back into the closet.
“He promised he wasn’t going to stay mixed up with these people.” He hung his head. “I don’t have it.”
I touched his shoulder and he jolted as if he’d forgotten I was there. “What do you need?”
“For that damn bookie to stay the hell away from my brother,” he growled. “Who am I kidding? He’d just find another one.”
Slowly, he rose to his full height. Lines creased his face. The burden he bore was palpable.
He yanked on his hair and paced in a circle. “I’m enabling him. I know that.”
“But he’s your brother and you’d do anything for him.”
Cal paused and blinked at me as if I’d given voice to his inner thoughts. If I were him, I’d do the same thing. It was all too easy to be on a high horse looking from the outside of a situation.
His phone chimed again.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
I slid my hands to his sides. “Do you want to give him the money?”
His eye lids flew open. “I’m not going to let you pay for his mistakes.”
“There is no you and me anymore, Cal.” I kissed his cheek. “It’s we now.”
“Not when it comes to money.”
“I don’t remember those vows excluding monetary resources.”
He stiffened. “You didn’t want to make them.”
It was a low blow, although the truth. A truth I regretted. “But I did. You’ve stood by yours and I’m standing by mine. Now what do you want to do?”
The anger drained from his features. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Family was the easiest and most complicated thing in the world. Cal always knew what was best so it was weird to see him so conflicted.
“He has to decide to stop gambling. You can’t do it for him.”
He dropped his forehead to mine. “I know.”
A tinge of pain shot through my skull, but I shoved it down. “What would your mom want you to do?”
He shrugged. “I’m afraid if I don’t keep paying it off something bad will happen. Something worse than him owing the money. I can always try to make more of that. But I can’t replace my brother.”
“My father was right about the debt, wasn’t he?” I hated to mention the man, especially in such a vulnerable moment. He’d made it sound as if Cal had been irresponsible, but I was beginning to see that wasn’t the case at all.
He nodded.
Earlier Cal had rattled off where at least some of his money had gone, but I had a feeling that was only a fraction of what he’d done over the years.
“Just how big is your heart, Garrett Calhoun?”
His arms banded around my back. He was warm and solid and mine.
“I didn’t want to worry Ma,” he said hoarsely.
“You need to help him as a family. I’ve tried to go it alone. It doesn’t work out so well.”
