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Yes. I had gotten what I wanted.
No.
I was married to Cal. And I didn’t want that . . . not like I used to.
I looked across the car at him. We could’ve done this ten years ago. Would we still be happy? Would we still be doing this? Riding around in his truck? Would we have kids?
I swallowed hard. The thought of being responsible for another human being was terrifying. But he’d come from a big family. And . . .none of that matters now.
Part of me mourned the loss of time we’d never get back.
What did I think this was? The start of a happily-ever-after?
He was my fake husband, not my real husband.
And I was lost.
Mrs. Calhoun.
Mrs. Calhoun.
Beau Calhoun.
I’d always been a Hollingsworth. And now I wasn’t.
I drew in a deep breath and some weight lifted off of me. Cal hadn’t just given me an out from a wedding I didn’t want to go through, he’d freed me from the name I hadn’t realized was weighing me down.
My only pride in it was because of my brothers.
“You testing out your new name?”
I blinked at Cal.Had I said it out loud?
“I didn’t realize what a relief it would be to get rid of my last name,” I said quietly.
This man had seen me at my most vulnerable. Maybe he didn’t deserve my inner thoughts, but I had nothing to hide. Or maybe he did deserve them because he had stepped up for me. Again.
He braked at a red light. “I’m surprised you’d want mine.”
The honesty in his words ripped my chest wide open. There was something in them, something raw, that made me ache. Like I felthispain.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m so glad to have it. I kind of want to skip the diner honeymoon and go change all my identification and credit cards.” I slumped down in the seat, feeling lighter.
“You can’t officially have my name until we consummate this marriage.”
I pressed my thighs together. My body never had gotten the message that I was supposed to avoid this man.
His gaze drifted over to mine. “And we can’t consummate this marriage until you’re healed.”
I swallowed around the knot in my throat. So much of me appreciated that he was thoughtful enough to be careful. And so much of me hated that that alone proved me somewhat wrong about him being so awful.
I’m healed. I’m healed.
But that was the overwhelming desire talking.
We’re not consummating anything.
My head chimed in.
