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Twelve
Tamara
“So, how do you like the ranch, Tamara?”
I glanced over at Gladys and tried to suppress a smile. I like the ranch just fine, but I liked the ranch owner a whole lot more. “It’s great. I mean, the fresh air is good for me, and with all the walking I’ve done, I can feel my body getting toned.”
“Hmmm, well, that’s good. And work is going okay?” I couldn’t help but press further. “You haven’t had any issues getting online and doing what you need?”
Gladys thought she was slick. I knew what she was asking, but I was willing to play along for a bit. “Yeah, it’s been smooth sailing. No problems at all.” I responded as I watched her gather the ingredients for lunch. Clint and Sammy had gone to the store to grab a few more things and were expected back any minute. For right now, it was just me and Gladys in the house. Brandon was somewhere else on the property doing who knows what, but I’m sure if I called his name above a whisper, he’d come running in like a bull in a fancy china shop.
“That’s good. I’m happy you’re comfortable. Sometimes, people can’t appreciate the quiet and peace you can get from living on the ranch. I think that’s why my boys have been alone so long.”
Now I wondered who exactly she was talking about. “Your boys?”
Nodding, she looked up at me and smiled. “Clint and Brandon. Now, I know Brandon came here when Clint was grown and already out of the military, but I still count him as one of my own.”
The little devil on my shoulder was hopping up and down in glee. It kept pushing me to ask the question hovering on my tongue. “Yeah, Clint and Brandon. Um, but what about Butch? Why has he stayed single after Clint’s mother passed away?” And there it was. That look of sadness came over Gladys’ face, and I knew I’d hit a nerve. “Maybe there’s someone else he’s waiting on.”
Gladys stayed silent as she chopped and diced vegetables, her gaze downcast and not looking at me. I know I’d only been here for a few weeks, but I know what I was seeing. Butch was in love with Gladys, and I’d bet a million dollars she felt the same way about him.
“Gladys? I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I just see how much you’re hurting. I don’t know your situation, but I’m here to listen if you want to talk about it.” And this is something Clint didn’t need to know about. Not that I thought he’d be upset or anything, but since I wasn’t sure what information would come out, it was best to commit to secrecy. “It’s just between us. I won’t judge anything you tell me. Sometimes, when you’re going through something, sharing it with someone else can help lift the burden.”
If only I’d take my own advice when dealing with Derek’s verbal and physical abuse. I’d stayed silent for so long about what was happening. When I finally told someone what was going on, the looks of disbelief were almost as hurtful. What reason would I have to lie about something like that? Who wants to admit they’d fallen into a situation where their spouse not only cheated on them regularly but was abusive? The questions about why’d I let him do that to me or how come I didn’t knock him on his ass or fight back tore through me like daggers. Did they really think it was that simple?
“Tamara, you okay?”
Jarred from the unpleasant memories, I smiled up at the older woman. “Yes, I’m fine. Just reflecting on my life. Decisions I made. Decisions I didn’t make.” The big ‘What If?’ scenario was playing through my mind. What if I’d left Derek sooner and moved on with my life earlier? Would I have met Clint and Sammy and Gladys? Probably not.
“Yeah, the what ifs can drive you crazy.” She paused for a moment before washing her hands and coming over to stand next to me. “I was engaged to be married before I came to work for the Sullivan’s. He’d gone into the military so he could build a career. It was going to be our way to start a future. He was killed during Desert Storm. I felt as if my life was over. All the plans we’d made, the life we pictured for ourselves, disappeared in the blink of an eye. And because I wasn’t his wife, the Army didn’t even give me a flag to honor him. That went to his mother.”
I reached out to touch her hand. “I’m so sorry, Gladys.”
She reached up to wipe beneath her eyes, a watery laugh escaping her lips. “Even now, over thirty years later, I still think about him and get sad at the life that was stolen from us.”
“You never met anyone else that you wanted to marry?” I knew I was on shaky ground, but the heartache was hovering over Gladys like a heavy blanket. She deserved love. Deserved to live her life with a partner who cared for her.
A sigh escaped Gladys’s mouth. She turned away for a moment before glancing back at me. “There are good men in this town. I’m sure if I looked hard enough, I’d find someone I wanted to be with. But this is also a small town and gossip runs rampant. Listen, I know what you’re trying to uncover, and I just… there’s nothing really to say. He loved his wife.”
I didn’t have to ask who ‘he’ was.
“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping, Gladys. It just seems to me that both of you are hiding from something that’s already meant to be. I just think every woman deserves to be happy. But I understand that it may not look like someone else’s happiness.”
She laughed, patting my hand. “For someone so young, you sure know a lot about happiness.”
I nodded. “Because I had to learn the hard way. I’m sure you know why I’m here.” She nodded. “Life isn’t always easy, and sometimes the worst of situations can bring you to the exact place you’re supposed to be in life. I feel my circumstances brought me here. I’m going to enjoy my time here while I can.”
“Are you planning to leave when the people in Virginia tell you it’s clear for you to go back home?”
Now that was the question of the day. Clint claimed he wanted me to stay, but maybe that was only how he felt when we were lying naked in bed. Which, truth be told, those were the times when I couldn’t see living my life without him. What would it feel like to wake up next to him every morning, get Sammy off to school every day, and just live on the ranch raising horses? As the vision played in her mind, it seemed like the perfect life.
But I also didn’t want to make assumptions about my role. Maybe I was just one in a long line of women. It had been years since his wife passed away. While he claimed he hadn’t been serious with anyone, I wasn’t sure if I could really believe that.
Looking at Gladys, I shrugged. “Honestly, I feel at home here. Even when he’s growling at me and being all ornery, I still feel that being next to him is where I belong. Does that make sense?”
Gladys’s eyes watered as she nodded. “And that, my dear, is the crux of the issue. When a woman’s heart latches on to someone, she can’t always tell it to stop. She can’t walk away, even when that man loves his wife and is faithful to her until her dying breath. Love is something you can’t explain, even when you try. There were times I tried to leave, but Clint’s momma, Caroline, convinced me to stay.”
“Did she know how you felt?”
