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Thirteen
Tamara
“No, Clint. Explain.” I knew I was acting irrationally, but I didn’t really care. We were in his bedroom, away from listening ears. Since I refused to allow Clint to throw me over his shoulder like a cave dweller, I walked up here on my own two legs. Anger and hurt fueling me as I stomped away from him.
Deep red filled his face. “I didn’t want her to touch me, Tamara.”
“Yet, she did it anyway.” I turned my back to him to hide my face. If he looked at me, I had a feeling he’d see the hurt reflected. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t even know why I’m bothered. You don’t belong to me. You have a whole life here that didn’t include me. I’m not sure why I’m behaving like this.”
I could admit that my feelings for Clint had grown so much during my time here. When I woke up in the morning, he was the first person I wanted to see. However, we both agreed that we had to be careful because neither of us wanted Sammy to find out about what we were doing before we were ready. Not that either of us was ashamed, but I was still unsure what would happen once the situation with Derek was resolved. Would I stay? Would I go?
Either way, I knew that my heart was here in Denver with Clint and his son. I’m not sure I could just walk away from either of them. I was a strong woman, but that was asking too much of me. When I felt Clint wrap his arms around me from behind, I sank into his embrace.
“What do you mean by that? I know why you’re bothered,” he whispered in my ear.
“You do?”
Turning me around so that I faced him, he reached up to clasp his hands around my face. His blue eyes bored into mine, his expression serious. “Because you want this as much as I do. You want to be with me, but you’re afraid.”
“How do you know I’m afraid?”
“Because when I hold you in my arms at night, it feels too right to be wrong. When you sleep next to me, you sink into my touch. I know you’re afraid because even as you moan my name as I fuck you, pleading me to never stop, you still deny what I already know.”
His words were making me feel hot. Leaning up to capture his lips with mine, I tried to stop the conversation. I didn’t want his words. I wanted him to make me forget about the other women in his life. All I wanted to do was block out the possibility of him going back to any of those women once I left his ranch. That’s what I was most afraid of—him forgetting me.
He shook his head at me, one hand reaching up to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I deflected.
“Sweetheart, don’t you realize how much I want you here with me? I’m not going to deny that this seems fast, but it also feels like this is where you belong. Like I’ve been waiting for you to arrive.”
I wanted to tell him so many things, but the words were stuck inside. He said all the right things, but when I returned those sentiments and more, what would he think about me? Just two weeks ago, I avoided being in the same room as he was. Back then, I couldn’t see myself living on a ranch filled with horses and hay. Just the thought of waking up to a loud ass rooster’s yell before the sun came up over the horizon would have given me hives.
Then again, I’ve also never felt so alive in my life.
I now realize being married to Derek had kept me in a cage of my own making. There was no real joy, even during the times when he was happy and not blaming me for every failure in his life. Having someone in my life who wanted me by his side, not because I could serve as a punching bag, but because I made him feel whole, was a completely different feeling.
I wanted to be here with Clint, but I also knew my life in Virginia had to be resolved before I could move forward. Derek wouldn’t go away voluntarily. He would have to be forced.
“Clint, what if this is just a temporary feeling? What if…” before I finished, he kissed me, stopping the words I was determined to say.
“Stop trying to push me away. If I have to spend every day convincing you we belong together, that’s what I’ll do. I need you here with me. With Sammy. Hell, woman, I need you, period. Give me what I need, Tamara.”
He grabbed me tight around the waist and lifted me from the ground as he walked us over to his large king-sized bed. I know we came up here to talk about that other woman approaching him and Sammy in the store, but Clint was right. I shouldn’t worry about the women who he’d been with in the past. He was here with me. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. None of them had been at his home. None of them met his family. That was me. And until I left this ranch, and Clint, I’d make damn sure it was only me.
“You can have whatever you want,” I murmured as he lay me down on the mattress.
“You’re so goddamned beautiful,” he whispered, looking down at me. “How did I get so fucking lucky to have you in my life?”
I reached up to his face, palming his face. He turned his head, kissing each palm. “I think I’m the lucky one. I was running from a man who claimed to love me, but his actions told me differently. I’m here with you. This is where I want to be. When I’m with you, the butterflies in my stomach take flight. You touch me gently. You take me to heaven every night. You’ve made me remember how it feels to be desired.”
“I don’t think I can let you out of this bed. Not right now.”
“They’ll know what we’re doing,” I hedged. Not that we hadn’t taken a few midday breaks to worship each other, but that was usually when Gladys and Sammy were out of the house. “Maybe we should wait until tonight. I don’t want to do anything that would make us look bad to your son.”
He laughed before pulling his t-shirt over his head. “Honey, I don’t think that’s possible. Sammy loves you just as much as I do. Probably more. Now, let’s get you naked so I can remind you just how good we are together.”
I stilled for a moment as he spoke. Was he aware of what he’d just said to me? He loves me? Sammy loves me? I mean, sure, I knew I’d fallen for him after the first week, but I never thought he would return those feelings.
