Page 19 of Loving Lucia


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Once she’s gone, Santino closes the door firmly behind her. “I think I found where Angel is.”

“That’s nice.” I tuck my cock back in and sit up in the armchair. This was where I’d taken Lucia with Santino at my knees. I look over at Santino, who looks very different from when he was desperate to please the two of us.

“Don’t you care?” he growls. “Do you care about anything? First Lucia, now Angel, and you’re just… pretending it didn’t happen?”

No, I’m not pretending it didn’t happen. I don’t have that luxury, not with my allies finding excuses to avoid me, not with five men dead just last week. I’m annoyed that Santino is questioning me, because he knows just as well what the stakes are right now.

“All right. What did you find out about Angelo? He retired from the mafia life? He’s gone rogue? He’s kidnapped Lucia, and the two of them are on a honeymoon without you?”

Santino scowls at me. “I’m the one who’s still here, Victor. I’m assuming you want things to stay that way, but if you want to try to chase me away, too, I can join Angel with Pavone.”

At first, I want to believe that he’s joking. Angelo’s loyalty to me might have been tenuous, fraying, but surely he wouldn’t leave to side with anybody allied to Bellini. But Santino stays silent.

“Pavone,” I finally say, gripping the armrest. “Angelo went over to Pavone?”

“Not… officially. But I just saw rumors that Bellini’s dead. His underlings are under new management. Between that and how the last call Angel made was to Pavone’s consigliere… You tell me, Victor.”

In general, I try not to let anger get the better of me. Anger leads to mistakes. Anger is how Nico ended up in the crosshairs, too incensed to listen to me or Angelo about security.

Lately, it’s been harder to stay calm. My empire is collapsing around me, I was outsmarted by Lucia, and now Angelo has apparently defected.

I want to break something.

“Santino,” I say, voice caught between fury and calm. “Come here.”

Santino hesitates. His indignant sort of rage has faltered in the wake of my non-reaction, and even though I know he’s aware of the anger in my voice, he can’t read me beyond that. He doesn’t know what I want from him, and he doesn’t know what I’ll do to him.

“Today, Santino,” I say, again reminded of echoes of things past, things that only make it more difficult to maintain my cool.

He nods once, jerkily, then crosses the room until he’s standing in front of me.

His stance is unsure and vulnerable, reminding me of the sixteen-year-old boy I once met. There are no bruises on his face now—there haven’t been for years—but he’s just as unstable. The loss of Lucia and Angelo has sent him into a turmoil and kicked up more feelings than since he’d said goodbye to his piece of shit father for the last time.

“You won’t leave me, too, will you?” I ask, allowing a hint of vulnerability to color my voice. “You’re the one I rely on most, Santino.”

His breath catches, and he stares at me, his eyes a little wide. It’s been a long time since I’ve told him I value him. Perhaps too long, especially if he’s looking at me like this, caught in desperate yearning for more praise.

“You know that, don’t you?” I go on when he stays silent. “I need you here, more than I needed Angelo.”

“You don’t need me,” Santino mumbles, but I can see I’ve got him.

“It’s true. I could find other hackers. But I don’t need you to be my IT guy. I need you because I can trust you.” I lean forward and take his hand into mine. Santino startles and pulls away instantly, but that’s all right. “I sleep with wolves in my house, Santino. Even Angelo—how am I supposed to put my faith into anybody else, if Angelo’s loyalty wasn’t sure?”

Santino’s breathing is coming a little more quickly, his pupils dilated. This is affecting him, perhaps even more than I’d thought it might. But he’s always been so eager for my attention, my affection.

“You’ve been at my side since you were sixteen, Santino,” I continue quietly. “We’ve been through a lot together, have we not?”

“That’s… of course I stuck by you, Victor,” Santino mumbles. “I wouldn’t—I couldn’t…”

“Tell me,” I demand, because I want that vulnerability. Even the woman earlier hadn’t been so open to me, despite her fear.

It takes Santino a few moments to get the words out. He speaks slowly, almost stuttering. “I know… I know I can’t ever repay you. I would have died without you. I…”

I don’t know that he would have died. He wouldn’t have flourished, beaten down by both his father and, later, other made men.

I’ll never tell him that it was a whim, saving him from that beating. I’d almost walked past, allowing the men to take out their anger and frustrations on a young man who couldn’t fight back.

I’d thought that breaking up the fight would make me look better to the boss, and I’d get at least a few back pats for wrangling the unruly soldiers. Instead, it got me a wide-eyed follower who thought I’d hung the moon, and who was willing to help me undercut the bosses so I could come out on top.

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