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I was stronger than I’d given myself credit for. I could survive this. The weight of the gun was heavier than before, forcing me to make a choice.
The possible small reward wasn’t worth the risk of losing my mother. I would do anything he asked to avoid that happening. If he wanted my body, it was the least I could do in order to provide some protection for my mother.
But the man would never be able to steal my heart.
I eased the weapon down, keeping my shaking fingers against the cold hard steel, closing my eyes. Somehow, I would find the strength to endure this. While I’d witnessed a horrible crime, this was all about some piece of evidence that my father had taken to the grave with him. I had to figure a way to use that as an advantage. One day he’d make a mistake, leaving me off my leash. That’s when I would finally be able to escape.
When I opened my eyes, the shock of seeing him standing behind me wasn’t as troublesome as the icy look in his eyes. I slowly turned around, gripping the edge of the dresser. A shiver of uneasiness coursed through me as he took several deep breaths.
He stood in the same position for a full two minutes, his eyes never blinking. But I could feel the passion he’d had for me shutting down, closing the chapter in his life, unnerving calm replacing the usual desire. I’d done nothing but remind him of the violence necessary in this ugly world, even giving him permission to return to the monster he’d trained himself to be.
None of his moves were quick as he reached around me, taking the weapon into his hand. He stared at it for some time before wrapping his fingers around my wrist, twisting it uncomfortably then placing the gun in my hand. I watched in horror as he pointed the barrel against his chest.
“Do it.” His voice was deep, rich, and dangerous.
“I wasn’t going to shoot you.” My voice held no real conviction even as an emotional rollercoaster was racing through me. The thought of losing him sickened me, so much so I was lightheaded.
“Please don’t insult me, Emily. You were trained by your father in several ways, including self defense. I have no doubt part of the training was dedicated to the use of weapons of every grade. Is my assumption correct?”
“I…”
“Tell me!” The harshness and iciness of his words were devastating, my pulse climbing to crazy levels. While I was getting used to his mood swings, there was something entirely different about his coldness.
“Yes. Yes!”
He nodded once, his eyelids only half open. “Then you know exactly what to do and the result of your decision. So go ahead, Emily. Now is your single chance. I assure you that you will never get another.” He jammed the barrel against his chest, his jaw clenched tightly, accentuating the growing stubble that added to his insanely gorgeous looks.
The ugly silence continued, although the rapid beating of my heart echoed in my ears. I couldn’t believe I’d hesitated, but the truth as to why was even worse than everything I’d endured. The thought of hurting him was unacceptable. He’d slithered his way into my mind, dragging every aspect of his dark needs deep inside my soul. Now I couldn’t think clearly, the longing for his touch and harsh kisses, his cock buried deep inside overwhelming.
“No,” I stated defiantly, lifting my chin, unable to stop trembling. I hated every reaction around him, but he’d crawled so far under my skin that I wanted his darkness. I craved the danger, the explosive nature of our relationship.
“Would you prefer I do it for you, sweet Emily? Would you like to see my blood pooling on the tile floor?”
“Why are you being this way? Why? I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
After releasing his hold, he dared inch closer, his intoxicating scent only pushing me into a mindless fog, the raging desire build building much like the terrible heartache.
“Because I’m a horrible man and deserve to die a thousand deaths. Isn’t that what you were thinking?”
I shook my head several times, shifting to the side then lowering my arm. “I made the determination that nothing good would happen if I used the weapon.”
“You made the decision?” There was a flicker of amusement in his angry eyes as he made fun of me.
“Yes.”
“You. Made. The. Decision?”
The vibrations erupting from his voice were even more terrifying. “I… Yes, Kostya. I did. Get over it. If you want to die, then put a bullet in your brain yourself. I’m not going to give you an easy way out.”
The air between us was stagnant, but the amusement in his cavernous eyes had died, another flash of anger then surprise that I’d dared challenge the great Russian mercenary. Fuck him. I refused to be treated like a goddamn prisoner any longer.
His nostrils flared and he looked away, chuckling in such an evil tone that I wanted to slap him. How dare he do this to me.
“There’s blood on your shirt. You killed someone else. Didn’t you?”
“I did what I had to do.”
“You enjoy murdering people. It’s some sickness, the bloodlust allowing you to feel something. Isn’t that the truth?”
