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“To be honest with you, I don’t entirely know. What I do believe is that your goodness fills a void that nothing else seems to. When I touch you, I’m alive. When you’re not with me, I’m dead inside.”
His answer was the most heartfelt of any he’d given me so far. I turned to face him, driven by the husky tone of his voice as well as the grave realization I felt the same. I would never be happy with another man. Kostya had brought me to life. When I reached out, caressing the side of his face, my fingers trembling, a series of hot blasts swept through me. He closed his eyes, his chest heaving. The moment was special, beautiful, and one I never wanted to end.
But with all things involving Kostya, allowing a moment of shared tenderness was only allowed for as little or as long as he deemed it acceptable.
“Were you close to your father?” he asked.
The question seemed so out of the blue, yet I’d known he was waiting in order to find answers to something that I wasn’t certain I knew the answer to. “Up until a few years ago.”
“And why is that?” He took my hand into his, the tip of his thumb swirling around my palm. I was instantly lightheaded, barely able to concentrate on what he was asking me.
“He changed significantly, fading away into a man my mother and I didn’t know.”
“Because of his undercover work?”
“Yes. My mother especially tried to be understanding, but after the first four-month stint where she didn’t see him at all, he was entirely different. I was in college and my mother isn’t the kind of woman to talk about marital problems, even to her only daughter, but I could sense what was happening. She begged him to quit, but he refused. That’s when she asked for a divorce. I was devastated, although I had no right given I was an adult, but his callousness, his cold demeanor wasn’t anything like the father I remembered.”
He looked away briefly, squeezing my hand. “This business doesn’t bode well for relationships, Emily.”
“Because we’re a weakness. Right?”
“Yes, a dangerous source allowing predators to climb inside, tearing my world apart. It is possible your father cared enough about the both of you that he purposely turned his back.”
I hadn’t thought of the possibility. I’d been so angry with his blank stares and the fact he’d turned his back on my mother that I’d wanted nothing to do with him. “He died without me telling him I loved him. I hadn’t spoken with him in almost two years. He called me once, but I refused to take the call. That was only a week before he died.” It was like I was putting together the timing for the first time. “I wonder if he knew he was being hunted.”
“A good undercover agent knows when his cover is about to be blown.”
“I’d asked why he didn’t reconnect with the DEA so they could pull him in, but I already know the answer. He was dedicated to his job, not to his family.”
“He kept you safe. I think he did care about you.”
I narrowed my eyes, half laughing. “You’re defending my father now?”
Kostya looked away, a sly smile crossing his face. “Maybe I am, Emily. Unfortunately, I need to ask you if he left anything for you.”
I looked him directly in the eye, my instinct kicking in. “You mean like a black book full of names, dates, or other information that could further incriminate either the great Bratva or another organized crime syndicate?”
As I’d seen a couple of times before, there was total amusement in his eyes, the twinkle drawing me further into a wildfire of desire that I had no business indulging in.
“Yes,mi hermosa flor. Exactly like that.”
“If he did, I wouldn’t know. After his death, I literally pushed all memories, photographs, everything out of my life. My mother said he did leave a note for me, but that’s all she mentioned. I haven’t asked about it or cared. I had a life to live and I planned on doing so. Let me guess. If he left me incriminating evidence, that means I’m in danger.”
“Very likely.”
“Which is why Eddie took it upon himself to protect me.”
“Apparently,” he said, pulling me closer. “Or your father asked him to do so.”
“Which would make sense why he hired me. However, you’re not certain you believe the intel.”
“You’re far too intelligent for your own good.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. “You have a price on your head, my beautiful flower. That is why you can never leave my sight. I am the only man capable of keeping you alive.”
Every time he dragged me against his chest, I stopped thinking about all the reasons why I should continue hating and fighting this man with every ounce of resolve. But as soon as his lips captured mine and I felt the weight of his body, all problems melted away and the sinful, damning desires became the only thing that mattered. He dug his fingers into my skin, pressing his hard, throbbing cock into my stomach, the rush of sensations disabling everything else.
I wrapped my fingers around his shirt, pulling him even closer, the kiss becoming frantic as the need to have his cock buried deep inside ignited another round of passion. I knew he’d take me several times, devouring every inch of my skin, bringing me to the kind of pleasure that left me spent and aching.
And I would crave more.
