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I whirled on him then, using the truck key to stab the air between us. “You don’t need to explain, Everett. I heard what you said, and I don’t know why you’re tryin’ to rewrite history, but I didn’t choose this life over the one we could have had. You pushed me into it.”
His nostrils flared, but I turned away again before he could reply. I just needed to get to the truck and get home so I could go back to my teenage bedroom and cry myself to sleep like the emotional train wreck I felt like. Who knew a ten-year high school reunion would make me feel like I had ten years less of experience in managing my feelings?
But shoot—Paisley. And blast it all, Riley’s still in there too.
I paused, intending to go back for them, but Everett caught me and twisted me so I’d face him. His breath was hot on my face as he stared down at me, the vice grip on my wrist keeping me pinned to his chest.
“It’s been six years of silence,” he practically growled, “and it’s about time we put an end to that. You hear? Let’s talk about this.”
His nearness had me speechless, so I only bobbed my head a little in response, my gaze trapped in his.
“I pushed you into it because I thought I was doing the right thing. When you got that phone call from that Nashville suit right in the middle of my proposal, I told you take the call thinkin’ it’d be no big deal to finish up when you were done. And I know I pushed you into turnin’ me down, but it was the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve regretted it every moment of every day since.”
I stilled. This was too much. Everett’s words burned through my brain as some of Riley’s earlier ones about how I should tell him the truth bullied their way in.
“Are you hearin’ me?” he asked, searching my eyes. The lights over our heads in the high school parking lot were just bright enough to see the truth and pain and heat in his gaze, and it rattled me. “It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, I’d do anythin’ to go back and do it right.”
“What would you have done differently?” I asked, my voice nothing but a whisper in the dark.
“I would’ve told you my old man could handle the shop for another year, and I would’ve slid that ring on your finger and made you my wife. I would’ve followed you all around this dang country, livin’ out of my truck if I had to, just so we could be together without all that distance.”
I let out a bitter laugh and wrenched my wrist away, taking a giant step back. “That’s easy to say now, but neither of us knew if your dad could’ve handled that back then. And besides, I went on that tour. There’s no way we would have worked. No chance you could’ve afforded to do that, and it’s not like they would’ve offered you a bunk on the bus or a room at the hotel. It’s a nice thought, but it wouldn’t have worked.”
“Fine,” he snapped, raising his hands and then letting them fall with a smack against his thighs. “Maybe it wouldn’t have worked. Maybe you’d have shot me down back then if I’d even suggested it. But we could’ve figured somethin’ out other than me pushin’ you into rejectin’ my proposal. Unless of course, you’re sayin’ it was the right call? That you would have chosen Nashville over me anyway?”
My blood surged with anger. “No. I wouldn’t have.”
He stepped forward with purpose in his dark eyes, then abruptly stopped and held up his hands. Shaking his head, he paced away and raked his hands through his tousled brown waves.
Slowly, I reached up and lightly grazed his arm, wincing when my touch made him jerk away. “What’s wrong?”
He turned to face me then, pain all over his never-been-more-dang-handsome face. “What’s wrong is that I feel like we’re having the kinda moment that makes a man want to grab a woman up and kiss her until the world ends.” He closed his eyes at my sharp intake of breath. “But … I can’t.”
“Why not?” I asked. My whole body was lit up like a lightning bug at the idea of him doing what he’d just described, and I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything in my whole life.
He slid his gaze to mine, eyes narrowed. “Because you have a boyfriend.”
Guilt washed over me in waves. Not just because I’d forgotten about Riley completely, but also because Everett must think something awful of me since he didn’t know my relationship wasn’t even real. I scraped at the gravelly asphalt with my studded boot and couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Do you love him?” Everett asked. His voice was jagged, almost reluctant, like he hadn’t wanted to ask but needed to know.
Taking a deep breath, I looked up and met his eyes. “No. And he doesn’t love me either. We don’t feel that way about each other, and we never have.”
His head tilted to one side like he couldn’t have heard me right. “Come again?”
“Our relationship is just for show. Our managers set it up as a way to sell more albums and tickets for our tours. The duet was a part of that, and so was our breakup and reconciliation. It’s all just as phony as I feel when I’m up on those big stages wearin’ all that glitter.”
Everett didn’t speak for a long time. Or at least, it felt like a long time, since I was able to see such a wide range of emotions cycling through his darkened features.
Surprise.
Anger.
Relief.
Sadness.
And finally, hope.
